Kyle Ross Spyrides

In this heartfelt episode, Audra and Kyle discuss the importance of confronting and overcoming personal trauma in order to achieve success in both business and life. Listen in as they explore the interconnection between personal growth and business success, and the significance of addressing emotional well-being to foster a thriving and fulfilling life.

kyle Spyrides

About the Guest

Kyle Spyrides runs Soul Gazing Photography and is the custodian of the Decide Your Destiny movement.

Kyle has had a vision to capture ‘life’s essence’ from a young age, both in the press of a shutter with photography and the Decide Your Destiny mission. Extracting the power each and every one of us has to shape our own destiny.



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Audra Carpenter


Kyle Ross Spyrides


CJ Carpenter



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Episode Transcript

*What follows is an AI-generated transcript may not be 100% accurate. 


[00:00:00] Kyle: All right. All right, welcome to another episode of The Mess in the Middle.

[00:00:43] Audra: I am here today with Kyle from Australia. Sounds like a radio announcement. And today joining us is Kyle from Australia. welcome to the show. I’m excited to have this conversation with you and learn about what, how you’re showing up as an entrepreneur in the world. So welcome, welcome.

[00:01:04] Kyle: thank you for having me on your radio session.

[00:01:08] Audra: So let’s take a few minutes to talk a little bit about what you’re doing these days, how you’re showing up, and then how all this kind of ties together with the mess in the middle.

[00:01:18] Kyle: Yeah, for sure. So I’m, originally born in Johannesburg, South Africa. Came to Australia when I was two and a half.

[00:01:25] First few years of my life I spent being raised in a pub. So I was in the back of a pub. Interesting. Yeah, my mom was an international model, so she was traveling around the world. she was on sets and sometimes she’d be, she was, she’d be in Tokyo and then there’d be another shoot [00:01:40] over in Moscow.

[00:01:41] And then, yeah. So she’d be traveling around and I was kept back with my, with her mother. so my South African grandparents and yeah, and they were running a pub, so they were like full-time. My grandfather was, not very well, so my granny was pretty much at the pub the whole time. So I was raised at the pub, but, I think that definitely developed some of my social skills.

[00:02:04] Yeah, I bet. Yeah. Which is, I think your social skills, your speaking skills are probably the two biggest skills I’d say for any person really. Trying to make way in, in the world. And so that I was open, opened up, and then my, one of my modeling trips for Mother met, Australian man.

[00:02:22] And then he found out about me. And, but I was back into Africa and it was right around the time where Nelson Mandela came into power, which was oh, obviously a great change for the country, but it was this very violent time. Yeah. the aggression and backlash and if you were a certain, if you were of the lighter tone it wasn’t very good, the family and your background was from that, that, that sort of, visible representation.

[00:02:47] It wasn’t a very, safe time for you. sure. My step father being from Australia thought,instead of being in that, violent turmoil, come to somewhere where it’s a bit more. and he, I really pressured, pressurized the mother to, to book Grim Australia. And then I came probably to the most Australian place you can come, which was Bondi Beach,

[00:03:09] and so we lived there and I met this Australian family, and that’s where I closed in again. I guess my story is a bit of, expanding and contracting and just figuring, [00:03:20] really figuring that out. and I think that’s probably everybody’s story. there’s times where you’re a kid, you’re vibrant, you’re expanding,people around me, I expand very large, so they see me as this big, character or this life character probably in the US I’ll just be like a, any normal joke.

[00:03:36] Audra: No, we’re not all loud and obnoxious. No, what you saying?

[00:03:43] Kyle: full of character and Blair and the flavor and Yeah. and, and so yeah, so that, I came to the Australian family and they,I was, oh, who’s, who are these weird people? This ain’t my, this ain’t my South African family.

[00:03:53] What’s going on here? And then my grandmother, who’s in the background in the blue,from, for people that are watching the video, she saw me and she basically saw me walking up the stairs and this worried look at my face. And she had this message shoot through her body, that I was gonna be importing her life.

[00:04:14] I was gonna be, she was gonna be important in my life. Like we were gonna be important in each other’s life. But that there was gonna be, she was gonna have a great deal of importance in my life. And then by the time I was 14, I had nowhere to go. I, found myself on the streets. ouch. Yeah. And got displaced from home.

[00:04:32] And, yeah. And so I know where to go, and I basically skipped a couple trains in the middle of the night. I went down and stayed with my grandmother and knocked on their door in the middle of the night. And they came, in those gowns you can see them in, they came down and,and they opened up their doors open, open up their hearts.

[00:04:48] And they’ve helped me through a lot, throughout my life. They definitely helped guide me. They helped, allow me to step into who I could be And who I could become. [00:05:00] And, it’s not the, Pretty, oh, just be calm and relaxed and just, here’s the little pillow, my dear.

[00:05:07] It’s, it was, it’s proper guidance and setting me up for the reality of this planet we’re on. And so even today, calling my grandmother, she said to me, she goes, she g gave me some strong, inspiring messages. And she’s always done that. I think she said, you’ve got a great deal to do.

[00:05:27] just keep believing in yourself. yeah, she’s definitely been my guiding angel in my life.

[00:05:31] Audra: that’s awesome. Yeah, what amazing story. we’ve all got baggage, we’ve all got some kind of stuff that comes from that. I don’t think it’s so much of finding people that don’t have some kind of trauma from their childhood.

[00:05:46] It’s what do you do with it and how do you handle it? Does it affect you in your adult life? Does it, is it something that you’re able to work through, either through support or through your own, educating yourself, going through the self-help books, going through the, different, knowledge that’s available out there to help you evolve through it and we don’t ever forget it, but we’re able to get through it.

[00:06:12] Meaning I’ve addressed it, I’ve dealt with it. It’s a good scar, but it’s not going to become part of my identity going. And some people can do it and some people can’t. And I’ve met people in their fifties and sixties that have allowed that trauma from their childhood to become part of their identity as an adult.

[00:06:32] I’m like, dude, when did that happen? And they’re like, oh, when I was seven, I’m like, you are 60. How are you allowing [00:06:40] that to still be part of your identity today? We didn’t have the power then. You don’t have control. You don’t get to make those decisions. And unfortunately, bad things continue through generations.

[00:06:51] I think our job as humans is to do a little bit better than the last one did. If we can stop a couple bad things from going to the next generation or pivot a little bit or educate ourselves to why those kind of things happen, that’s part of the process, right? and maybe two, three generations down, whatever that bad thing was, we’ve gotten far enough away from it that it doesn’t become somebody else’s trauma.

[00:07:17] And, that’s it. That’s all we can do. This is part of life. I’m a optimist, but I’m also a realist and I just and maybe I don’t wanna say it’s heartless, but at the same time, deal with your shit. Deal with it, figure out a way to get through it however you need to do.

[00:07:37] There are plenty of resources out there now. if we go back and, it’s not meant to be about the podcast, but this does tie to entrepreneurship or owning a business and having that confidence to be successful and to be able to achieve the one things you want to achieve. Childhood sometimes does not set us up for this, but the more that we can get the resources we need to say, oh, okay.

[00:08:05] I get it. I connected the dots. This is why this happened. This is how I prevent it from going forward, but I can’t change it. So help me get to a place where I can manage it, deal with it, clear it out, clear my [00:08:20] chakras, whatever I need to do, but to allow my life to look forward instead of always looking backwards.

[00:08:27] Yeah.

[00:08:27] Kyle: Yeah, and I think one of the big parts to that, People say, oh, you’re being tough and all that sort of stuff. But one thing I realized was I held everything down so I would all the emotional, the trauma, everything like that. And I Partly I’d hold it down because, I had that, I’ve gotta be tough.

[00:08:44] I’ve gotta be strong, men don’t cry, boys don’t cry. and partly I also didn’t wanna make my shit, somebody else’s Yeah. To use your word, somebody else’s. And the funny thing is when we don’t confront and deal with our own baggage and trauma and maybe even some of that baggage, we’ve attached our identity to, like you said Some of it, we’ve become a victim of, because that at least makes us feel different and have some sort of meaning in a weird and twisted way, And so I think what I realized was, Now I held everything down and the crazy thing is that I ended up developing, a major disease and then at the end age of 18, I, went into a,induced coma and my whole family were there and doctors were told to my family that, look, he’s not gonna make through the night.

[00:09:28] He’s gonna die. Pass away. I had this major experience and the story kept going, unfolding. but the point I’m trying to make is that even when you try and compress and hold down and suffocate your shit, because you know you are afraid and fear, or you wanna be tough or seen as tough or you want to do it because you don’t want your crap to overflow into other people’s lives, if you’re not dealing with it, if you’re not gonna confront it, your crap is actually gonna become everybody’s crap and it’s gonna blow like chicken [00:10:00] mushroom.

[00:10:00] smoke. And I think that’s the obligation that we have that if we don’t confront ourselves daily, if we don’t confront, we don’t look at ourselves in the mirror, look at our mind, if I don’t look at myself, ask questions, who can I seek for help? do I need to go for a walk?

[00:10:16] Do I need to work out? Do I, what do I need to listen to? Do I need to have a tough conversation with someone? Whatever it is, if you don’t confront it, it just continues to build up. And that crap’s gonna overflow into your life, into your clients that you deal with and into your family and friends, and really into the bigger purpose that you could have been having on this planet if you sorted your crap out.

[00:10:37] And I think that’s where the thinking from me and all about me, to we,and the community and who we can help is really what my grandmother instilled in me. probably thinking a lot larger and maybe in my life, to reflect. Maybe I’ve thought. Planet Earth community.

[00:10:56] but then I’ve also had to bring it back to Hey, what about my tight circle that next level, and look at the ripples coming back. and so I think, it’s really important to be aware of how you not confronting yourself is gonna affect all of those ripples going.

[00:11:12] Audra: yeah. There’s, a lot of people don’t mix the two, so they think business is business mindset and self-help and self-improvement and that are something separate, but the challenges, they’re not, they’re one and the same. And if you don’t figure out how to get this mental side of it, it is very challenging as a business owner or an entrepreneur to be able to achieve the things that you want to achieve.

[00:11:37] Yeah. Now I’m not saying, go off the [00:11:40] reservation and, stop. Doing anything self and help, but they need to go in tandem to be able to really allow your business to grow. I used to tell my clients that if they don’t emotionally think of our bodies like a pinball machine. So those emotions that we’re trying to keep down, right?

[00:12:01] We’re trying to manage the business, we’re trying to drive, the employees drive sales, but those emotions that they’re filling inside are bouncing around their organs and all their parts like a pinball machine. If you don’t get that stuff out, it is just destroying your insights. And that’s where, we’re all born with cancer cells according to science.

[00:12:22] if we don’t do something and get that negative energy out, where do you think it’s gonna go? It’s gonna go to the weakest point in your. And then it’s going to start affecting you over time. The, you gotta sweat it out, you gotta talk it out, you gotta yell it out, you gotta whatever you need to meditate it out, whatever it is.

[00:12:40] But you’ve gotta keep that negative energy out of the inside of your body, cuz the remember with stress, and it makes your body acidic. And if you’re eating bad food and managing a ton of stress, there’s lots of cortisol going on in your body. You’re just, it’s just playing havoc in there. So yes, it prevents your business from growing, but it also slows you down.

[00:13:01] So if you’re trying to be at your optimum as far as being an entrepreneur, Mind, body, spirit, or whatever it is for you. yeah. you’ve gotta, you’ve gotta do the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. You’ve gotta be able to balance that and think about, okay, I’m holding this in not to burden other people just to [00:13:20] get through my day, but really, what’s the price you’re paying by doing that?

[00:13:24] Yeah. Yeah.

[00:13:25] Kyle: Yeah. and it’s a heavy price. and I think that’s a great way of pointing that if, what is the price you’re paying probably in every decision you make, and when you get that granular, and I think that’s, that is, that’s increasing responsibility. And for me, the point I was making with the health that, that’s a, it was a major organ.

[00:13:44] eventually I actually ended up doing an alkaline, juice cleanse. Good. in a, in an hosp in a hospital environment. 95% of people were against me or against what I was doing or not on the same mission, on the same path. And I had about 5% of core people around me who were committed, who had the information, who had the knowledge, who had the direction.

[00:14:04] And we ended up healing that, that disease, nice. And setting myself up for a better position for later. Operations where I could repair things and rather than rip out and replace, Motor engine parts that are essential. And, so for me that, that sort of element of responsibility, I had to deal with what happened in, in my health when I compress everything down.

[00:14:30] And, you go into the victim, you go into, it must have been this, the doctors investigated eight different causes. who can I blame? Who can I offset this to? and I did all that for a long period of time. And then I, tried to put it over here, put it over there.

[00:14:47] And then at a certain point, I had a few people close to me that kind of said,they said it was this person that was in your life. And I went, okay, yeah, sure. And then I went, I had a shift in my mind. I went, wait a minute. I created this, how I responded [00:15:00] by, Pushing everything down by not confronting it, by not handling it right way, by not seeking the right help cause there is wrong help.

[00:15:09] Sure. By not seeking the right help, I created this thing and I’m responsible. And that actually was the first time where I could really feel a bit of a release from it all. And it was the most healing part of the whole experience was taking authority, ownership, responsibility over what had happened to me was from me.

[00:15:34] And then when you put yourself in controlling your life, then you can start directing every heartbeat, every decision. And yeah. It doesn’t start off like, oh, every decision, I’m gonna be super mindful and no one, this is, no, my emotions aren’t gonna run me.

[00:15:49] Audra: yeah. Good luck

[00:15:50] Kyle: with that. Exactly. Exactly.

[00:15:52] You gotta face, you gotta face all those beams every day and try your best. But if that’s your aim, if that’s your, where you’re trying to get to is, Hey, look, I wanna be conscientious in, in, in as many heartbeats as I can today. I wanna direct my life. I wanna, there’s chaos going around me, but hey, if I know where I’m going and I’m leading myself, then people are gonna le walk with me and we can try and figure out a way out

[00:16:15] Audra: of this.

[00:16:15] I used to always call it organized chaos. So I, I’ve never, early in my career, probably back in my twenties, I tried to have work-life balance wasn’t gonna exist. I had a job I, but I had three kids under the age of five when I was 26. And I got divorced. So it was a lot. Wow. and I did strive to try to fit in that [00:16:40] box of what they’re, say what work-life balance is.

[00:16:43] Then I spun out on my own, I guess it was probably 32 when I opened up my first coffee shop and there was no work-life balance. There was no, I had then my kids were under three, under 10. I was a full-time student, double majoring. Plus I had at 1.3 coffee shops, 65 employees. Once I was able to give myself permission to not try to fit into some kind of work-life balance, life got so much easier.

[00:17:12] Cause then I just thought, I don’t need that. I just need a way to organize some of the chaos that I’ve got going on in my life. And once I’ve been able to say I’m okay with the ever-changing of being self-employed. And managing lots of things. Making sacrifices for lots of things. I had no social life, it was work school kids.

[00:17:34] That was it. That was the extent of my life for many years. But I, once I was able to let go of all that, of what should be, oh, my friends are going out, or Oh, my couple couples are doing this, or couples are, it was, it made life so much easier once I let of what I thought was everybody else’s expectations.

[00:17:53] And then I was Do you have a present for me? It

[00:17:56] Kyle: worked. did you have a kind of timeline of, Hey look, I’m gonna, this is for the next five years. This, did you have a kind of, hey, this kind of Yeah.

[00:18:04] Audra: for school I did. Yeah. For school I did. I had a, when I was 26 and got divorced, I, my older brother passed away.

[00:18:12] And, something traumatic like that really changes the trajectory of your life. And one of the things that I promised him when he died [00:18:20] was I would go to school. So I got divorced, enrolled in college within, three months of him passing away and filed for divorce. Wow. So it took me five years to double major on top of everything else I had going on.

[00:18:34] But that was commitment I made and I was gonna stick to it. yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[00:18:40] Kyle: And you did it? Yeah,

[00:18:41] Audra: I did it. it was hard. It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

[00:18:45] Kyle: did you think you could do it when you were doing it? did you think, oh my God,obviously many times you go, do I have this much in me?

[00:18:51] Do I have this much in me? And then you’re like, and then you realize, wow, I can do, I can, I can juggle five kids and instead, cuz that’s a lot, that’s something, like for me, man, we don’t, we like, we don’t even Yeah. Conceive that, dealing with all of that is just I see single moms that are successful and contributing to society just as Superheroes.

[00:19:10] I’m like, I’ve got no idea.

[00:19:12] Audra: I think it’s just, commitment to, when I got divorced,I was so young, 26 with three kids. it was super challenging. And I went through a few really rough years. Work thing wasn’t hard, school thing wasn’t hard raising three children, that was the hard part.

[00:19:29] Yeah. And having resources to be able to, afford daycare or afford after school care or afford for them to do stuff. And my parents gave me a couple really good things and my work ethic and my commitment to getting stuff done. There’s gonna be very few people that’ll outwork me.

[00:19:50] But that I think was the saving grace I knew. The more I put in, the more dedicated I was to my craft. the more money I’d make. [00:20:00] And the easier life would get for us. And so I was super hyper-focused on that and I didn’t want my kids to do without meaning me saying, and believe me, we did for many years until I got started making some money.

[00:20:14] But, yeah, you get to that place where I don’t want my kids to say, mom, can I get a pair of shoes? And I have to say I can’t afford it because I chose to not be married. So yes, when I got divorced, I took a bunch of steps backwards and for all the single parents out there, we make a conscious decision.

[00:20:33] I know it’s gonna be hard, but the trade off is not what I wanted. I knew that the life that I was gonna have was never gonna become what I wanted it to be if I stayed. And we were together 11 years. It’s not like we just, we, he was my high school sweetheart. Not a bad guy, just not the right relationship to help me grow as a human.

[00:20:56] after we graduated from high school, I start doing this and he’d starts doing this. Yeah. And I tried to drag him along. I, and it just, it wasn’t what he wanted and I didn’t wanna stop as a human growing to stay at the level that he was at. Yeah. So sometimes you have to take that risk and go out on your own.

[00:21:14] And you know what, yeah. Was there hard times? Absolutely. Did I ever feel like I was gonna quit? No. no. It’s just hard. It’s just a time and it’s just hard. So the only way through it is through it, right?

[00:21:30] Kyle: Yep. Yeah. It’s kinda like that quitting is not an option. No. And it’s just, it’s not even a, it’s not a selection, it’s go the menu.

[00:21:39] [00:21:40] It’s not

[00:21:40] Audra: No, it’s, for me, it’s always been, you don’t quit, you just find different resources. Maybe the door you’re going through isn’t the right one, you just gotta find a different door. You don’t change your path.

[00:21:51] Kyle: Yeah. Yeah. and stepping, stepping or stopping or that has never worked.

[00:21:57] Like take some time off. Just let it, just, let it just dimmer with it and just, it’ll come to you. And it’s no. Like I know it comes to me when I work through it. It’s your sports is a lot like that. I was really focused and I wanted to become a, an international rugby star.

[00:22:11] let’s go back and play for the staff and rugby team and had this big dream, this big vision. And like you, you get through those hiccups. Hitting. Like you keep knocking against the wall, but you might come from a different angle. But you don’t sit there on your hands and expect something to change.

[00:22:30] And I think like what you were saying about what, what society tells you to do a lot of times, like that’s the messaging. It’s and in Australia we’ve got this big thing called tall poppy syndrome. Yeah. It’s basically if you’re really going for, you know it, like you, you’re just like, who are you?

[00:22:45] Who do you think you’re better than me? You think you, so you and I guess in a way it makes you have to like we said, go at the wall a different way, Yeah. No, this is for the person that I’m gonna employ. I’m gonna help them have a greater future that, I didn’t have the opportunities set up or my family or, and you have to maybe it, it forces you or pushes you to articul.

[00:23:03] What you’re doing. for me, I’m like, God, like I surely I don’t have to explain it,maybe it makes you have to articulate it in a,in a better way.

[00:23:10] Audra: yeah. For sure. So when did you, have you always wanted to be an entrepreneur or have you, is this something recent? I know we didn’t really cover what you do, [00:23:20] so let’s take a minute or two to talk about your profession.

[00:23:24] yeah. how you’re serving the world.

[00:23:26] Kyle: Yeah, for sure. so I do photography and videography and that that’s my main thing. I did a diploma of photography and studied it, and worked for my uncle who’s considered Australia’s top photographer and Nice.

[00:23:40] and I was on, yeah, I was his third, lackey, so right down the rank. and, but I learned a lot through. Assisting him on big sets where he was playing, where he was shooting, the players of the top Australian, the Australian National Rugby Team or the Qantas, the Qantas, the airline or the National Bank of Australia and different sort of things.

[00:24:02] So there’d be this big multimillionaire,sets, like the advertising and for this campaign they put millions and millions into it and multiple different locations. and I got to experience that and I started out in event, photography and then I went, nah, I wanna get into business.

[00:24:18] And I think probably looking back, making that decision Is maybe when I started opening up to the entrepreneur can, cause it can be a real can of worms. Yeah. but it, it was a clear decision where I was going, okay. events, weddings, some things like that. There can be seasonal, businesses year round.

[00:24:41] so through shooting and observing, that’s where I think I really started getting enticed and interested. and the stories of business owners and, where this came from and their passion and those sorts of things. Just, they would come out at me like, to [00:25:00] me in shoots and cause, naturally just curious and inquisitive and ask questions.

[00:25:05] And I think that really started, inspiring me in a lot of ways to go, okay, what’s, what’s more,I think that’s probably where it started. from a young age, I, so I had such intense trauma and challenges and mental and, physical and, emotional abuse.

[00:25:21] I I always. Had big visions, like it was just, I’m gonna play for the spring box. I’m gonna, I’m gonna do this. I’d have these dreams that I was directing major movie sets, or I was, I always had this, I didn’t know where it came from, And I think in a lot of ways, in some of those years where it was terribly traumatic that rugby goal, like whether I made like any rugby team or not, was not the point.

[00:25:47] It was to have a big vision. Yeah. And to pull me out of the depths of that challenge. and that’s what kind of Yeah. it pulled me out, out of that and it got me working towards something greater than my circumstance, something greater than myself. And I think that’s, that was always in me.

[00:26:06] And then that has come back into me when, whenever I’ve done anything in my business.

[00:26:11] Audra: It’d be interesting. I wonder how many other people have done the same thing, started a business out of something, some kind of, not necessarily just a passion, but something of interest that helps them escape from, or not escape, manage whatever word, whatever adjective fits there.

[00:26:29] But, self perseverance, but to become something else and then realize how much they love it and end up turning that into a business. Yeah. That’s actually really [00:26:40] interesting.

[00:26:41] Kyle: I think a lot of people do, and I think maybe because I guess I do in a way, you you communicate with people and sometimes you see How they became that. Oh, that’s why you became a therapist. Oh, that’s why you became this. Oh, that’s why you became that. Yeah. And you can see the links and I think Steve Jobs talked about it. you can join the dots looking backwards and it’s, that’s really people’s career choices and, How they show up choices.

[00:27:06] yeah. You can see just by asking them a few critical questions back in the history. and it’s amazing. And I think,I think probably part of it was wanting to get out of that environment. And the other part of it was just, I don’t know, it was very, cause you have a vision, right? Yeah.

[00:27:24] The vision’s strong, but you’ve gotta have those kind of feelings and that emotion and that kind of, that physical embodiment, that vision. and with the rugby team, I always had that and it was always, I’m gonna overcome this to be an example for others to also overcome.

[00:27:40] I was very closely aligned to be an example, to have an impact, to help others, to be using the rugby. But being able to go to like towns where, kids are a little, don’t have as much money and helping them out and There was always that aligned to it, and I had these visions of that.

[00:27:57] Yeah. obviously the glory of winning and everything. but it had a big part of the helping other kids, and I think that’s probably where you see yourself when you were like, man, like there were people there for me, like my grandparents, but there weren’t a lot of people. as a boy, I think as well, you’re looking for that uncle or that man or that certain, that figure to just collect you and show you [00:28:20] the ropes.

[00:28:21] and I think sometimes our business, our purpose, who we want to become ends up being, oh, that’s why you want to impact other people.

[00:28:30] Audra: I wanna say a hundred percent of every single person I have interviewed so far on this podcast, same underlying driven purpose. They started their business, you know how they got there.

[00:28:42] Everybody’s got a little bit different story, but why they’re doing it is exactly what you just said. I even if I go back to my story, every single business I’ve had has some helping component in it. And my flip side of that is I got an issue with bullies. And a lot of, on this planet, there’s a lot of ’em on this planet and there’s also a lot of ’em in business.

[00:29:04] Yeah. people being taken advantage of. Yeah. you could just take the bully level down to what I do from a business perspective, doing marketing for a living, probably, I think I’ve said 50 or 60% of the clients I’ve served over the last 10, what, 14 years. I’m going in to clean up the mess of what some other agency.

[00:29:26] Yeah. They either hired incorrectly, they didn’t deliver it, what they said. just completely taken advantage of the person. Now, I don’t believe in victims, right? we’re half responsible for the choices that we make and the people that we hire and, but that becomes like a burning purpose for me to be able to educate business owners enough to hire properly and be able to say, these are the results I’m trying to get.

[00:29:52] And this is what the service you offer and making sure that the two actually match. Yeah. Because typically they don’t, I’ll look at the contract and I’ll say, this [00:30:00] said this. What does that mean to you? I don’t know. They just said they would do it. I’m like, dude, this means nothing.

[00:30:07] Kyle: yeah.

[00:30:08] Audra: Yep. So that $5,000 you just spent, yeah. You should have just went out and had a really good vacation or something. Yeah. You’ve got more value out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what would you say is your biggest challenge being an entrepreneur right now, where, how is your business growing? Where are you trying to go with it?

[00:30:30] Kyle: at the time of this, the time of this call, in about a week’s time, I’m moving to the country. Okay. And that’s been a big, hiccup, relocating. although, in a lot of ways, the country that town that I’m moving to is only got 5,000 people, but the big city is about 40 minutes away and it’s got 45,000 people the fastest growing regional town in, Australia.

[00:30:52] And I’ve already got contacts there and business prospects and opportunities and so it’s not really, that’s not really a challenge. I think it’s probably just a, a mindset perspective. Yeah. Mindset thing. Yeah. And making that big shift, probably the biggest challenge, had, has been, I guess being authentic if that’s, yeah, that’s what you truly want,

[00:31:12] I’ve been doing photography, biography, marketing. I’ve got a partner in marketing and we’ve been building a team and that’s been really, that’s like when you talk about helping other people, that’s been real joy, like helping other people Cause to be a part of our team, like we don’t just work on just the fulfillment of work, it’s also your personal, it’s also your growth.

[00:31:32] and being very straight and calling people out and wanting ’em to do better. Cause if they’re better in their personal, they’re gonna be better in, when we deal with our big [00:31:40] pressurized job. So that’s been a real joy. And then, part of that is the Decided Destiny thing, which is basically a book that I wrote.

[00:31:48] And it was something my grandfather said to me many years ago. It was two months before I went into that coma and, nearly died. It was, we sit on the couch, he’s an architect, so he designed his house and light was flooding in and he had this big boy screen on his face and he turned to me and he said, decide your destiny.

[00:32:06] And I said, what are you saying Clive? And he said, decide your destiny. what are you talking about mate? We weren’t talking about anything. He said, make sure that whatever you do in your life, that you decide your destiny. And that went out one year, as a young 18 year old,And then many years later, in 2019, right before the Australian bushfires, he passed away. I went over there to Sydney, flew back over. Cause I’m on the west coast, Sydney’s on the East coast where I grew up. and I’m on the other side of the country and I. I was there looking after him in the final days, and I held his hand and watched him pass away.

[00:32:39] and that whole experience. And, but beautiful and hard as well, of course. and the faith, the, my grandparents had a lot of faith, and they never had, dogmatic, disciplines. they allowed me to become who I became, but they had a lot of faith in God and Jesus Christ.

[00:32:54] and right up until the last few days of my grandfather, he was coming out of consciousness and,and, one of his sons went over to him and said, cl, what do you see? And he said,what’s going on? What do you see? And he said, Jesus. And we all ran over to his bedside.

[00:33:08] We’re like, what is going on? He’s and then, they only, his sons asked a question, which wouldn’t be a question I asked, but he said, what does he look like? And,

[00:33:15] Audra: then all the things he could ask, what does he look

[00:33:17] Kyle: like? yeah. Out of all the things I’m like, I [00:33:20] wouldn’t have asked that, but I guess it’s interesting.

[00:33:21] And then, he said, he’s standing by the river with the boat for me. And then his son said again, what does he, but what does he look like? And he said, love. And he had this big boy grin and my grandmother never knew how strong his faith was right. Until his passing days. And so all of that kind of culminated.

[00:33:38] And I was back in, home in Perth, after he passed away. I was on my bed and I was deep in prayer, and I was saying, God, Jesus, energy source, whatever anybody wants to call it, I wanna get on path. I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna waste any more years. I wanna get on path right now.

[00:33:53] I wanna do the work that you sent me here to do. I wanna fulfill the mission that you sent me here. So Phil, I don’t wanna bumble around for the next 30 years. And then I got this vision of this book. okay. And I had the title Decide Your Destiny, and I hadn’t heard that. Okay. Since my grandfather said it to me seven years earlier.

[00:34:11] And then I had my face on it, and then I heard this voice in my ear, write your story. And so then I did that. I, wrote the book, wrote the story, and then as the book was coming out, I got challenged by mentor to do a daily video every day of the year to had that energy of the book and the book was being edited and all that sort of stuff.

[00:34:27] And, I got it out and then I was like, okay, this is what I’m gonna do. I was like a full pa passion, purpose. I’m just gonna do this thing and we’re gonna have this big mentor theme. We’re gonna get online, we’re gonna, and then, yeah. And then you’ve got your business that you’re trying to, gotta keep running.

[00:34:39] And so those those challenges cuz you’re getting pulled this side, your heart’s pulling you here and then your logical,

[00:34:47] Audra: reality steps in

[00:34:48] Kyle: Yeah, reality steps in. Yeah. And so other people have been able to morph and see and merge the two of those concepts. But for me, I haven’t seen as much clearly.

[00:34:58] And I guess it’s that thing that I say you can’t [00:35:00] read a label, in the jar. you gotta step out of the jar and read the label from outside. And so that’s where probably, letting, and I’m not a big person to letting go and stalling, but maybe stepping back a bit and building the team and mentoring through that has allowed me to start seeing the mold.

[00:35:19] And probably the biggest challenge has been how. Mold those two aspects because I do believe, like you said, that you need to have a strong purpose in business. You need to have a strong, I think, I personally believe you have to have a spiritual connection. I personally believe you have to double down on that.

[00:35:32] you don’t say to someone who’s just coming into your store, oh my God, my purpose, you, you don’t freak people out straight off the bat. But I think you gotta have some sort of internal drive and Yeah. And so trying to reign that in or try to align it, has been a bit of a challenge, but it’s like everybody, it’s what’s my direction?

[00:35:50] What’s my purpose? Why am I here? What am I doing? Those questions, it’s not like they just zip away, they keep bubbling up and you keep having to answer them and show in different ways.

[00:36:00] Audra: Yeah. I think they show up for all of us. Some people listen though, and some people tune it out.

[00:36:05] So it depends on who you are. I think as a human, And where you’re at in your life. Sometimes facing that kind of immortality, regardless if it’s in business, your personal life, your family, whatever that is, sometimes it’s too big that you end up blocking it out. It’s almost like you have to become very vulnerable or just get your ego out of the way to say, you know what, show me what I’m supposed to be doing here.

[00:36:34] I, it’s this big and I’m not ready for it, but I, but you still gotta start [00:36:40] showing me what it’s supposed to look like, and I will baby step into it. Otherwise, it’s just, there’s a wall there and you stay out there and you’re like looking at a window of what all the kids playing. Yeah. and you can’t get out there to go join them.

[00:36:56] And that’s a terrible way to live. Yeah. That really is. you need I’ll that when you shared it that way. Yeah. Yeah. You need to be able to. Maybe you’re not gonna be as good on the playground as those kids that are out there, but who wants to live their life stuck in the room watching outside the window.

[00:37:14] That’s not supposed to be what life is either.

[00:37:17] Kyle: Yeah. Yep. And I think for a lot of the entrepreneurs, listening, like play with the other people because Like people can help you get to where you’re wanting to get. And like you said, maybe you can’t slide down the slide as good as the other person.

[00:37:32] Or maybe you can’t do this part business good as the other person. But you can plug and play and early on in your career you find, you collaborate, you, I’ll scratch your back, you scratch my, you work out ways. And then as you get more and more, successful, then you plug people in and go, look, this thing takes me 20 hours a week to do.

[00:37:51] for me, the early on thing was tax. I was like, alright. I ain’t gonna mug around with that. I’m gonna give it to this professional, who I trust, who I work with and, other people will do their tax and their bookkeeping, but for me, I just knew, I just,I observed the time. I, yeah.

[00:38:05] And I was like, no, that’s just, I would be better off going out meeting people, networking. I think that’s another thing they listen is really go out there. go out there, try put yourself in the, public speaking people fear, public speaking [00:38:20] more than death, but go out there putting yourself out there cuz you need to work out, okay, where do I thrive?

[00:38:25] And don’t go out there, try once and go, oh, I bombed. I’m no good obviously. No, keep showing up, keep trying all the different things that build your business, your purpose. And then see, okay, where’s my little, my little sweet spot. where do I really just what? And then go, okay, great.

[00:38:42] How do I start fitting other people in? employees, people that I partner with, maybe this part of the business, I take a 20% cut and they do that. But I think that’s really important because if you can double down on your sweet spot, then that’s how people get known. oh, this person’s known as that, but, Hey, he’s not alone. He’s got a whole engine room behind

[00:39:02] Audra: him. We don’t, yeah, we don’t focus on that enough. We, what I’m commonly seeing is people, Go to the furthest point and try to re-engineer it backwards. But there’s so much knowledge and experience missing that they don’t have the skills to re-engineer backwards.

[00:39:22] So they’ll run out and do, say there’s 20 steps that go from here to generating revenue on a consistent basis in their business. They’ll run out to do 17, 18, or 20, then realize they have no foundation that stuff, so they can’t keep it going, falls back down. Then they do two, three, and maybe back up to 17 and that still doesn’t work.

[00:39:46] And they go back and it’s a crazy silly cycle. But if people would just accept there is a path, there is a, there are patterns, there are common things that happen for a business. Slow down, quick clues. [00:40:00] Yes. Yes. Just slow down for a second and just say, okay. I’m at this stage, what are the things I need to focus on to get me through this stage?

[00:40:09] Not, how do I build a, what would be something advanced? How do I build automation into my business? And you haven’t even launched yet. What are you worrying about that? Yeah, exactly. let’s come back and let’s focus on what’s in front of us. And people would get through those stages much faster.

[00:40:24] Yeah. Once they understand, how the car is supposed to be built. think of it this way, when you get a business, it’s like somebody gave you the frame of a car and gave you all the parts that go in the engine. Yeah. Yeah. And then you’ve gotta figure out what goes in first. Yeah. So you think, I’m gonna put in the block first, the big engine block.

[00:40:44] But maybe that’s not what’s supposed to go first because you don’t have an instruction manual. You’re just plugging and playing pieces based on what you think the picture’s supposed to look like. That’s a tricky, you got all the parts, digital example. Yeah. Stop. Somebody’s got a manual. Yes, please stop doing that other, otherwise you’re there.

[00:41:05] Six months later it’s what’d you do the last six months? I tried, I tried this configuration, this looked like it attached to this and this, but the car’s still not running. Yeah. dude, you should have spent three months finding the right manual. Then you could have spent the next three months actually making money.

[00:41:21] The car’s running, and now you can travel wherever you wanna go.

[00:41:25] Kyle: Yep. And you skip. And I think the big thing there as well is everyone wants to, and I noticed myself, you wanna skip ahead to doing the things that, that you enjoy rather than actually [00:41:40] like the work doing the groundwork.

[00:41:41] Doing the, yeah. Like actually, putting the seeds first, don’t go pick all the, put the seeds in, have that as a daily discipline. Bang, I do this, I do my. I do my prospecting first thing in the morning. I do my emails, do my quiet, whatever. I do the, yeah. Whatever I need to do in the morning that just sets me up.

[00:41:58] and then later on, yeah. nighttime, maybe I can work on that logo again or whatever it is. But, and oftentimes people, I wanna get my logo. Okay, I’ve got my logo now I’ve got a business. And you’re like, no, you’ve got a logo. let’s be real. let’s be

[00:42:12] Audra: honest, how much money did that put in your bank account today?

[00:42:15] Kyle: yeah, exactly. But, and I think the per, and I think that’s the thing, the perception, I’m not denying in a digital world the importance, perception. that’s, I wouldn’t have a job. yeah. Perception wasn’t important. yeah. it’s crucial. you need to have some, something real there.

[00:42:26] And I think the best thing that I had in my business was a. A kind of a bang, restart to go, all right. what have you been doing wrong? Like, how do we set this up and what’s a simple step by step process of the sales cycle, The person comes to your website, you meet them in a network wherever the entry is.

[00:42:49] Okay. How do you take them on the journey to the point of them feeling happy that they ever met you overjoyed, and your reserves increasing because of the service they provided. and I think, and I, until I had that kind of,that outside force and that shock for me to reevaluate, I never really looked at it that way.

[00:43:10] And I’m like, wow, like people just launch into this business thing and there’s no, like you said, there’s no step-by-step. There’s chaos structure to it.

[00:43:19] Audra: [00:43:20] Chaos. Just total chaos. Not organized chaos. Just total chaos. Here’s the other thing though. So you said, let me ask what I was doing wrong. You weren’t necessarily doing wrong cuz nobody ever showed you what was right to begin with.

[00:43:34] Yeah. So you just didn’t know. It’s not that you were doing it wrong, right? Yeah. Doing it for me, using the language, doing it wrong means I knew the difference between what I should do and what I shouldn’t do, and I chose what I shouldn’t do. Yeah, but you didn’t even know what it was, so it wasn’t wrong.

[00:43:53] You were just taking it shot. You were just doing it in a way that wasn’t producing the results you wanted.

[00:43:59] Kyle: Yeah. I was ignorant The other. Yeah, I don’t have the knowledge. Yeah, Yeah.

[00:44:05] Audra: but that’s business owners in general, yeah, and I’ve used this example before, but I think it’s still relevant.

[00:44:12] They come, we come from, we’ve got some kind of great knowledge. We wanna start a business and we think that all of a sudden we’re completely qualified. We have all the skills that we need and we’re ready to go. We’re gonna make a million dollars Once we put up a funnel, where did their skills come from?

[00:44:30] Yeah. Nobody taught you them. They don’t come while you’re sleeping. They’re not gonna come just from a book. it’s gonna help, but it’s still not gonna just be, you have to learn it. You have to evolve through it. You have to try stuff and test it and pay attention and not just run out there saying, I’m gonna sell stuff.

[00:44:50] Yeah, you are. Where’s the, how you actually have to back up and if you’re not gonna do the, how somebody else has to, like you said, that groundwork, this yucky [00:45:00] stuff, the boring routine, monotonous AI is not replacing that yet. It’s still has to be done. Yes. Yes. So if you are not doing it, somebody has to do it.

[00:45:12] And if you think you’re gonna skip that as a business owner, I’ll sit, we’ll, you go out there and you try, you come back and talk to me in three months when you’re completely frustrated and have gotten nowhere, you gotta put the work in.

[00:45:25] Kyle: You do. And I think you saying AI brought up, brought up a great point in terms of looking at okay, AI or chat G P T or this or that,Okay. It’s not, and I think, and this is the same thing as, phones or, people, I remember people say, oh, aren’t phones gonna replace photography? and as a great correlation to Yeah, AI And I think the thing is, whatever it is, it needs to be directed, right? It doesn’t just, the software, the technology, the solution doesn’t just go, here’s your box set, here’s your tv.

[00:45:55] Here you go. Go for it. And you go, how do I, yeah, magic. how do I direct it? How do I, how do I know what to do with it? And I think that’s an important thing of a business owner is going, what do I do with it? like, how do I, okay, alright, chai, yeah, it can help me. but how, where does it, oh, it’s a great tool for brainstorming.

[00:46:15] Okay, great. I’ll use it in that setting. It’s a great tool for starting this or whatever it is. And I think that’s the thing is working out how things help integrate. okay, I’m gonna do a funnel, and you sit there and go, where’s the sales? It’s like you gotta think deeper.

[00:46:28] And step by step. And part of that ego is probably going, alright, how would I buy this product? Or how would my ideal client or my ideal customer, like in all reality, they’re busy, they’re stressed [00:46:40] out, they’ve been hearing all this stuff in the news. They’ve think,be, be compassionate with the person that you’re selling to, to actually get into their mind.

[00:46:50] And I think that’s when you start becoming better as just I didn’t even focus primarily on sales or, customer service, but just trying to understand the human and go and read their book. Oh, okay, I see you wanna go pick the kids up? No, I got that. You know what,I’ll shoot you a text.

[00:47:06] just being aware. I think that’s the biggest thing, the biggest shocking thing that I see on this planet is people not aware of the information they’re getting given. Just by visually looking at the environment,

[00:47:21] Audra: because they’re not conscious. They’re not paying attention. Yeah. I’ll do that at networking events.

[00:47:26] So I am a people watcher. I am all about, I’m a master practitioner and N O P as well. So I’m all about body language and facial expressions and energy and all that kind of stuff. And when I’ll go to an event, I’ll observe. I enjoy, I don’t need to talk. I just wanna watch. And I’m like, that person’s doing this and this one’s sad and this one’s this.

[00:47:49] And they’re like, how do you know? And I’m like, didn’t you see it? Their clues were as, like a neon light. Yes. We’re not paying attention to that. We’re so focused on our goal is to serve and you’re gonna buy our product and this is what we’re selling and this is the money we’re making. Yeah. But if they would’ve slowed down, like you said, and been conscious and been present and said, How do they feel?

[00:48:11] Let me step outside of myself for a second and pretend I’m my customer. What do I want? What kind of energy does that bring in? What kind of feelings do they have? What kind of [00:48:20] relief are they getting from my product? Or how much better am I making their life because of it? Oh, okay. Now I can put my worker hat, my entrepreneur hat back on and go and create that.

[00:48:32] Yes. But until you’ve actually focused on them first, instead of your purpose and your drive. And I know it’s a lot. that’s why not everybody’s an entrepreneur and not everybody is successful. It is hard. Yeah. And if you think it’s an easy route, babe, go get a job. Cause it’s not.

[00:48:51] Kyle: Yeah. and that lesson of looking at oh, let me look back at like you, you might have to get that repeat lesson multiple times.

[00:48:58] Yeah. You might have to go, oh my God, I’ve been so caught up in the purpose and the mission and what I’m doing. I need to revisit. Who’s sitting in front of me, I need to revisit where are they feeling? I need to revisit what’s going, And I think one of the big things wrapped up in all of that is, is being truly valuable to someone, how do I be truly valuable?

[00:49:24] And I think a big question or a question that’s helped me is go, how do they make sense? Like, how do you make sense of this? How do you make sense of it financially? How do you make sense of it intellectually? How do you make sense of it? How do they make sense of it? Because if I’m gonna be a valuable asset to their decision making process You need to. You need to, they need to understand it. And yeah. Am I helping them understand it? Or am I using jargon? Am I saying, the composition and, but they’re not at the level of talking about composition, and so I think that’s really the, I don’t know where I heard that from, but, how do you make sense of it?

[00:49:58] How do you understand it? [00:50:00] Just that reminded me of that helps me, because it just goes, okay. like in their brain, like how would they qualify a decision?

[00:50:09] Audra: All right. as we come to the end of this great conversation, what would be your words of advice to somebody that feels that they’re stuck and struggling?

[00:50:20] What do you, what would you tell them? I come to you and I tell you I’m a little lost here. How would you keep me going or tell me to hang it up?

[00:50:29] Kyle: I think the thing that has helped me most has been looking out. Okay. and I think, we’re talking about looking into ourselves and our purpose and what we wanna do and into someone else, but I think sometimes when you were playing this one player game and we can only see so much, we can only deal with so much.

[00:50:51] And when we just step out, look at the stars, look outside of us, look at the environment around, and I think that’s ability that photography has. I’ve been lucky enough to be able to go sometimes when my life’s really stressed and I’m overwhelmed or I’m just not, I can’t see a, I can’t see the next step forward.

[00:51:11] Yeah. And I think that’s what we’re talking about. can you see the next report? I’ve grabbed my camera and I’ve gone out to the world and that camera’s just been the ability, it’s almost been the ability to go, Hey, I’ve got this little lens, got this little viewfinder, and I get to explore.

[00:51:27] And then I get to play in the world, get to play in the universe once again, I think that’s the thing. The kid will keep playing, the kid will keep trying to fix something together. Yeah. Like they don’t give up. They don’t go, I want to hang it [00:51:40] up. They go, no, I’m gonna keep going, until the end of time.

[00:51:44] And I think that’s, they know how to get back into that play. And I think for people that are, that, that are, bring fun back into your life. Bring some play back into your life. Bring some exploration, some curiosity. And that’s where, like I said, I’m not a proponent of going, just sit there and hope things ch turn around.

[00:52:02] Yeah. But sometimes you need to put that energy that’s circulating and it’s just Doesn’t seem to be working. Put it into something over here. and that’s sometimes helping somebody else. Sometimes you help somebody else with their project or their, Hey look, I’ve got this question, or, and you’ll help somebody else.

[00:52:17] And then it’ll remotivate you. And I think that’s where we’ve got the energy. We just need to re redirect it. Redirect just for a p just for a period of time. Yeah. And then you can come back to what you want to do, but just to get it circulating properly again.

[00:52:30] Audra: Awesome.

[00:52:31] Awesome. Kyle, thank you so much for being here. I’ve really enjoyed learning more about you. through the end of the podcast, we’ll make sure that everybody has all your links and how to get in touch with you and have further conversations. And I guess until next time, keep moving through that messy middle.

[00:52:50] You got this, so I appreciate it.

[00:52:53] Kyle: Thank you. Thank you. And I’m looking forward to doing the next thing if you order and your awesome audience. Thank you so much for your time, guys.


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