Courtney Andersen

In today’s podcast episode, Courtney and Audra discuss the challenges of being in the messy middle, specifically focusing on Courtney’s experience with her upcoming book. They explore the importance of embracing the process and learning from each step, as well as the common struggle with imposter syndrome and so much more!

courtney andersen

About the Guest

Courtney Andersen is a Sober Coach, Podcast Host, and Author. She founded National Sober day and Sober Vibes, an online community for sober, sober curious women.


I offer 1:1 coaching, along with you can pre-order my book.


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Audra Carpenter


Courtney Andersen


CJ Carpenter



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Episode Transcript

*What follows is an AI-generated transcript may not be 100% accurate. 


[00:00:00] Audra: Good. All right. first off, thank you for agreeing to do this. I’m super excited to get into this conversation, especially after, some of the things we talked about briefly and some of the experiences you’ve had, and then really how you’re serving your community and, people even past that besides just your niche.

[00:00:58] . Why don’t we take a couple minutes to give people an idea of who you are and how you’re showing up, and then I’ll make sure as far as show notes and things like that, that it’s got a bio with all your links, so you don’t have to go into all that, but Right. At least people know what we’re gonna talk about here.

[00:01:13] So head on in. All right, .

[00:01:15] Courtney: thank you so much for having me on the show today. Absolutely. And I’m excited to be here to chat with you. so what I do is I am a sober life coach. I am a podcast host. And author. I have a podcast called The Sober Vibes Podcast, and obviously a sober life coach is a coach for people in sobriety or entering in sobriety.

[00:01:38] I help a lot of mainly [00:01:40] women, get sober and thrive in sobriety. and what brought me to that point was I struggled with my own, alcoholism. About 10. I’ve been in sobriety now for 10 years, been sober 10 years, and when I was going through it those first couple years, I just really thought that we, the community needed more.

[00:02:01] I needed more. . So I went out and created what I needed.

[00:02:04] Nice. Yeah. I think that’s how a lot of small businesses get started. Yes. We have a need. We can’t find it. We decideit’s a path we need to follow and go for it.

[00:02:14] Yeah. Cuz I looked at it where I’m like, you know this, you don’t just get sober just to still continue to sit in that doom of gloom You really, people who fight addiction I and make it on the other side, let’s say. There is, you get to live two lives in one. So it’s really a powerful thing to empower that and find yourself with the community that feels that same way. yeah. So in about, 2016 is when I created Sober Vibes, and just as the years has gone on, it has grown and grown.

[00:02:47] Audra: Nice. Nice. Mm-hmm. .. So small businesses. You know what I’m loving about doing this podcast about the Mess in the middle is all the different types of businesses. Yes. And how far down you can actually niche it and do something that you really love. it’s, yeah. It’s been a great experience so .

[00:03:04] Courtney: Oh yeah. And then too, I’m sure you talk to a lot of people too, where you’re like, God, that’s a job . like you turn that into money. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. like nowadays you can really turn anything that is, I believe, your passion Into it becoming [00:03:20] a full-time, career for yourself.

[00:03:22] Audra: Which is just ridiculous that we’ve been able to do that. Yes. So just for anybody. Tuning in for the first time. The podcast for The Mess In the Middle is to really talk to business owners and help guide you through this messy middle that we go through. As small business owners, we wanna have these conversations to normalize what it means to be stuck in the middle and be able to offer.

[00:03:47] Maybe a light, maybe a sound voice or something to tell you that this is normal. Keep going and put the work in and don’t get discouraged and think that what you’re seeing on social media is what small business really is about. Yes, there are some nuances of you do need to pay attention to, especially for marketing and sales, but that’s not really what’s happening day-to-day in our businesses.

[00:04:14] So allow this podcast or this adventure that Courtney and I are getting ready to have to guide you and re-anchor you back into what your purpose is. all right, now we’re clear on that. Let’s talk a little bit about, so where are you at? So you’ve got a coaching business.

[00:04:29] Courtney: Where are you at as far as this mess in the middle? Where would you say you are? I, it’s funny that you say that cuz I feel like. I’m, I think I’m still in the middle . Yeah. most of us spend our, the majority of our time in business in the middle. Yeah, because, it’s funny right now,I actually received a book deal back in the spring of 2021, so I am currently in the middle.

[00:04:55] Audra: Of that because it comes out, it’s gonna be published August 15th is the [00:05:00] publishing date. And Nice. It really is like this year, pr no, like 15 months at this point of this whole process. So I am in the middle of that right now of simply like I just did the second edits. I just got back the final book, cover what the cover will be.


[00:05:16] and then now it’s, Time to start talking about the book a little bit more in marketing because the publishing company obviously has a whole marketing plan for you. So yeah, that’s where I’m in, in, okay. So I feel like right now, A little bit of limbo, . it’s, I think it’s just part of the journey of what Yes, you go through.

[00:05:35] if you launch a book, there’s 50 steps that every single author has to take if they want that book to be successful.

[00:05:42] Courtney: There’s a lot, with the edits and stuff like that. So that is where, and I have to say of being in the middle of where I am now. So it’s just, I really am in the process of waiting for that book to come out, but also trying to enjoy the steps before it does, cuz it’s all a learning experience,

[00:05:57] I heard Mel Robbins say, and I felt this way, like imposter syndrome, but she was like, let’s get rid of imposter syndrome because you’re obviously gonna feel like that if you’re doing something for the first time. And I’m so glad I heard when I heard that, cuz I was like, oh my god, I can stop.

[00:06:16] Pretending I can stop with the imposter syndrome. This is my first time writing a published book. ,

[00:06:21] how dare you not know how to do that? Yeah. and but that’s the whole thing. It’s like these buzzwords comes up and then you think that, and it is. I really appreciate hearing that when I did, so anyone listening?

[00:06:32] Good. If you feel like you have imposter syndrome, it’s because you’re doing this for the first time.

[00:06:38] Audra: Or just haven’t got good at it yet. [00:06:40] Yeah, I think that’s the other thing. we don’t give ourselves any grace when we’re just getting started. I see this a lot from, business owners that, or maybe they had an expertise for a job.

[00:06:51] Yeah, and they were top of their class as that employee. They decide to spin off and take that expertise and then start a business. , there’s a pretty good disconnect between the knowledge that they have as the business owner and them actually running a business. Mm-hmm. ,, they believe. , and I don’t know where we get this from, but, I’m an expert, so I should be an expert in my business, but it’s not true because nobody is, we don’t become expert drivers until we get behind the wheel and put some time in.

[00:07:22] . So even though your industry or your widget, whatever that is, and everything there is to know about, it doesn’t make you qualified yet to be a master in your business. So it’s okay. To get in and fumble, and it’s okay to say, I don’t know where to start with the marketing and I don’t know how to do sales, and who knows how to keep books.

[00:07:40] Those things do not transfer when you’re moving from employee to self-employed. typically, unless you’re working hand in hand with that owner, you probably don’t have any exposure to. And that’s okay. So you probably are feeling like an imposter or I’m not qualified to run a business.

[00:07:58] Courtney: it’s not one or the other. It’s, I’m just getting started. It’s okay to not have the answers. Oh yeah. Guess what? I can ask questions and I can learn it. 100%. And that’s the thing too. people gotta realize that. Because how, one person runs their business

[00:08:13] Doesn’t mean you’re gonna run your business the same. and they, like you said, might not even know what they’re doing and [00:08:20] running it in a terribly way, and then you think that’s how you should run your business, Same thing with two, some people are cool with working 12 hour days and have the time for that.

[00:08:29] Me, I have a 18 month old. So I, yeah, it’s not happening. Not happening. I hustle during nap time and I, right now for the season of my life, I am in, and it’s taken me a while to transition into motherhood and understand this, but I just have to give myself the grace with, I’m meaning myself at where I need to be with my circumstances.

[00:08:51] Audra: And everybody needs to do that. Yes. Yes. Don’t allow, when I think, something I would take away is. We know the value of running a business online. , we know how important it is to find customers, to build brand, to connect with others and build community. But the thing that you’ve gotta remember is that’s only a small piece of it.

[00:09:12] Yeah. That’s only one channel. when it comes to marketing and building a business, don’t look at what is there and say, oh my goodness, I’m not measuring up, or I’m not really qualified, cuz I don’t know how to do all those moving parts. start small. Start with the one place that you’re comfortable.

[00:09:27] Maybe it’s networking in person. . Maybe it’s, showing up at different kinds of events. Maybe it’s just reaching out and building relationships one at a time. Whatever it is for you. Do what works for you. Just like Courtney just said, I, she’s got an 18 month old. She fits it into what fits with her lifestyle.

[00:09:44] We don’t need to try to exist in a world that doesn’t fit us right. Because you will, stay so incongruent with that that you’ll never get any really good results or momentum.

[00:09:56] Courtney: Yeah. And you’ll drive yourself nuts, Yeah. and that’s what’s hard nowadays too [00:10:00] with the social media aspect, because once you start following all of these gurus out there, it’s like you, did not see their struggle.

[00:10:07] you did not see maybe the, 10, 15, 20 year struggle that they had before. Yeah. So now you’re, now what you’re seeing is. The compound effect of what they put in behind the scenes, like I’ve had people be like, oh, you’re really lucky for getting the book deal.

[00:10:25] I don’t believe in luck. I’ve put in a lot of hard work to lead me to that point of where I did have a publishing company be like, Hey. You wanna do this? So it was not like it just happened overnight. Right.I’ve been put in the work since 2016 . so you really have to, I think, be mindful of that.

[00:10:45] A lot of people have struggled Yeah. And struggled. And struggled to get where they’re at today.

[00:10:50] Audra: Yeah, when I was first getting started, cuz I’ve been around in the industry a long time. Mm-hmm. 2009 is when I opened up an agency and when I would look at. Competitors. There’s a website called The Way Back Time Machine.

[00:11:04] , it’s Okay. If you want to go back and you’re like, gosh, how did Russell Brunson do it? Or Brendan Burchard or Frank Kern, or any of those top marketers that are out there, the gurus that we see. consistently in social media. Go back to and see where they first got their start.

[00:11:23] What you can do is you can put in a website and the internet is index. So they go out and they take screenshots of websites that people put out based on those domain names. You can see how funky those were and how unprofessional and [00:11:40] they were just getting started and trying to find their footage. Yeah, you could do that with any site, any of the big media sites.

[00:11:46] Any, anything to give you a realistic view of the journey that those companies had to. Go through to get where they’re at today. We all start there and regardless if you like it or not, you’re not bypassing it. So you might as well dig in and figure out how to get through it and otherwise you won’t grow.

[00:12:05] Courtney: Absolutely. And that’s where the thing, you gotta, you have to figure out what works best for you and what stuff lands and what doesn’t and, how you want to authentically show up. Cuz that, that’s the key of it. Now, what did you do before this? so before my sober coaching, I actually. I was in the service industry, the restaurant industry.

[00:12:28] Okay. I actually bartended in waited tables for Years. However, So when before I got sober, I was making the transition into the medical field. I then left the restaurant industry, went into the medical field and I was like, yeah. I woke up in my sobriety was like, I do not wanna do this.

[00:12:45] Yeah. and that’s when I first got introduced to multi-level marketing. So I started in, Beachbody and then I left my, health in the pain clinic. I left that job and I actually went back to bartending because it gave me more time. so it gave me the time and money to be able to pursue my health coaching journey.

[00:13:05] And then after a couple years I was like, I love coaching. But not with this topic. And then the sober coaching was really developed out of that. So I bartended for many years and I actually just, I call it my retirement of, I ended my 20 year career, [00:13:20] last summer and went full time to do this.

[00:13:23] Audra: That’s a good takeaway for people to recognize if you have a job, keep it. If it’s paying the bills and affording your family, comforts and paying the mortgage, there’s nothing that says you can’t do both, right? Yes. You’re gonna have to give up something in the process. , right? It may limit your social activity or it may limit your Netflix time.

[00:13:43] I don’t know. But there is a sacrifice you will make to pull that off, but it depends on how bad you want it. That’s why everybody’s not on an entrepreneur is because not everybody’s willing to do the work that it takes to pull it off. Now, this is number four businesses for me. and I could go back and be an employee if I needed to, but this is a better route for me.

[00:14:06] And that’s the whole thing. And then I think some people look at that as I should just do full-time with that. And and you’ll hear people too, it sometimes isn’t realistic. Okay. I’m a person of, let’s be realistic . And. leaving a job that does provide you somewhat of a paycheck and consistency in that, then you might have to just spend an hour or two before after work to build that side hustle.

[00:14:31] Courtney: That eventually becomes your full-time job. You might have to on a Saturday morning, wake up. And spend a couple hours doing that, , and I think too, nowadays there’s this thing where it’s like the hustle culture is quote unquote toxic. However, I disagree with that. Yeah. I think that you need to hustle.

[00:14:50] Audra: if something burns that passion in you where you’re like, I really wanna do this hustling is waking up on a Saturday and putting [00:15:00] one hour into your job. You know, or doing an hour before work each day or working on, your lunch break. Cuz that is all stuff I had to do to get me to today. And everybody’s, success looks different, And I think that’s a good thing about it, right? There’s no one size fits all. , we all have the ability to evolve that into whatever we want it to look like. Exactly. So what would you say has been some of the bigger challenges that you faced? Maybe not transitioning cause you were going through a lot.

[00:15:31] Not just jobs and training, doing your own work. getting you to where you’re at now. What keeps you focused and continuing to drive forward?

[00:15:39] Courtney: Well, you know, we all always have those days where we wanna burn our business to the ground. I just want a job. Yeah. I don’t wanna think about it anymore.

[00:15:49] ? Yeah. Where you’re thinking, I liked how you’re like, I could go be you an employee again. Yes. Where you have to go and be an employee. Yes. Yeah. And then for some reason, the universe always throws me a bone. If I have, it’s not a bone, but the universe talks to me. Yeah.

[00:16:04] And I will get a message from somebody. , and this is a beautiful thing about podcasting. You have no idea who’s listening to your podcast, right? or social media, yeah, sure, you can see your followers, but you really, can’t assume that everyone, like sucks in your content every day and knows what you ate for lunch last week.

[00:16:23] Anytime. I’m like, I don’t wanna do this anymore. I wanna go be an employee and just maybe take this off my plate. Then I get a message. Yes. Then I get a message within the, within 24 hours and somebody will be like, I. I’ve been listening to [00:16:40] your podcast for the last seven months, and you have helped me more than AA has ever helped me.

[00:16:46] Aw. Or I’ll get, a DM just saying, I relate to your story so much. Thank you for what you do. This is helping so many. So the universe always speaks, and then I’m like, all right, cool. , stay the course. Stay the course, because that’s, you not saying that you can’t veer from the course, cuz you can pivot right into other businesses or niches or whatnot.

[00:17:09] Sure. But,it’s just one of those things of, there’s sometimes some dark days, like I said, where you wanna burn your business to the ground, but then you get a nice message and you’re like, okay, I’m gonna keep going forward and do what is working for me and what is not working.

[00:17:22] Sometimes you gotta let some stuff go. Yeah. For new opportunities to come in.

[00:17:27] Audra: when I get to that place, if I am being challenged, I’m too far down this path, there’s no turning back for me. at where I’m at in my business now, I’m not struggling so much with do I do it, do I not do it?

[00:17:40] For me, it’s how do I do it faster? How do I get quicker results? what do I stop doing that I’ve been doing, and what do I need to pick up to be able to see some different things happen in the business? Those are more the things that I struggle with at this point in my career, but, they still cause self-doubt and they still challenge you.

[00:18:02] it’s like the more we know, the harder it gets. Yeah. Because sometimes I just wish I would be, especially the industry that I’m in, I’ve been doing marketing for 14 years now. I know what it’s supposed to look like. I know what the results are or how to get the results. Cuz I’ve been doing it for clients for years.

[00:18:19] So not [00:18:20] getting them for me fast enough is definitely a point of. I wish I was oblivious cuz I would probably take more risk . Than knowing don’t do that. it doesn’t work. . Yeah. Kind of stuff. Yeah.

[00:18:33] Courtney: I empathize with you cause I could see how that could be a very like, exhausting thought.

[00:18:39] too much. Yeah. Cuz sometimes when you are, So knowledgeable in something. Yeah. it’s a curse almost. It’s a blessing and a curse. Yeah.

[00:18:47] Audra: It can be. And then I find to get out of that mode, I go just help somebody. , that seems to work for me all the time. It makes me more appreciative.

[00:18:56] of the state that I’m in. It doesn’t have to be somebody behind me or somebody above me. It just needs to be somebody that I can help. And if I can find somebody, is stuck on their path, maybe walking in circles and they say,no. Come on over here and go left. and they’re able to get momentum again.

[00:19:12] Courtney: Then that actually refocuses me and helps me get back on track of what my purpose is and why I’m doing what I’m doing. Yeah. yeah. That’s how I feel about when an email comes through dm. It’s just yeah. But it, but also too, in the sense of sometimes when you’re in the entrepreneurship, small

[00:19:27] Ownership, you gotta get out of your own head because it’s really easy to. cuz we’re not working with anybody. It’s just us. So it’s really, it’s very easy to go down a rabbit hole and to get yourself out of that. It is to give a service and be a service to somebody else and help somebody, whether that is helping with some business advice or you just go and pay for somebody’s Dunking Donuts coffee through a drive through, it’s just little things little.

[00:19:53] That make you feel like Yeah, I’m getting out of my own head in like my own mild obsession. Yeah, because [00:20:00] business become your business can’t become a little obsession.

[00:20:03] Audra: It is. Yeah. It could be a little sick. .

[00:20:06] So you work with clients and without going into any of their stories, what kind of advice do you share with them?

[00:20:13] Courtney: to get them unstuck? I imagine there’s a lot of coaching that goes on with sobriety, but. what kind of tools do you empower them with to help keep them moving forward when they’re struggling? so that’s a great question. would I always help people to when they’re struggling or keep moving forward in that struggle and this can go for business too.

[00:20:34] If you are getting stale or stuck , it is so important to reach out and get help in some way. Whether it is you hire a coach, whether it is you read a personal development, I’m huge on personal development. Yeah. Reaching out,if. Confidence. If you’re lacking in confidence, pick up a book that talks about confidence in building your self-esteem.

[00:20:57] it’s very important not to get stuck with where I say it a lot with the rabbit hole. Yeah. And to get outside of yourself because that helps you grow. And in that growth process. You are going to learn so much about yourself, what you’re made of, and see something differently of okay, and plus two, you feel better.

[00:21:18] You, you don’t feel that stuck. like if somebody gets stuck in their sobriety and when they’re stuck, when they stop respecting the process of it and stop respecting sobriety, it’s very easy to relapse in that sense, . It’s no different in the business sense If you’re going forward where you get stuck and then you’re like, kind of self-sabotage and wanting to burn your business to the ground or throwing your computer out the window [00:21:40] and saying, I can’t do this.

[00:21:41] I can’t do this. But you also too have had a slew of clients. You’ve created an awesome community. So a lot of this I just recommend to people a lot of personal development and seeking help where you need the help. , whether that is you go to therapy, , right? maybe you need to still work on some issues with some self sabotage, or you hire a coach or you get into some type of mastermind program to be around or you’re feeling isolated near your business.

[00:22:07] Audra: go sit at a, like a co-op space, like something where you’re surrounded. So I always just recommend for people to keep seeking and evolving in the self-help personal development business world. Or get yourself a mentor. You can,There’s so many different things that I want to tap onto there.

[00:22:31] You covered probably 10 different ways to get outside of yourself and no, but the good thing is probably five of them work really well if you’re an extrovert. and probably the other five work really well if you’re an introvert. , there are options. It doesn’t matter where you feel like you are socially on the spectrum.

[00:22:47] That is probably the biggest divider that I see with businesses that I’ve worked with over the years. the mindset issues are the mindset issues. It doesn’t matter if you’re extrovert or introvert. The ones that I feel I can get through it are the extrovert because they’re willing to ask for help because they’re okay with the connection.

[00:23:04] the introverts though. , they’re afraid to ask for help because they don’t wanna connect to begin with. And therefore, because they don’t ask for help, they don’t get any help. And then they say, stuck in this never ending, walking around. this room in circles in the dark. Mm-hmm. .. [00:23:20] It doesn’t have to be that way.

[00:23:21] Courtney just gave you, five different ways to connect to just one person. You can find mentors through the organization called we’ll leave a link in there. It’s free. So it’s not about money. It’s not about being an introvert or an extrovert. It’s not about the stage of business.

[00:23:39] You know where your business is. It’s, I’m stuck, or I’m not moving forward at a good enough pace that I can replace my income or quit my job, or just seeing the results that I wanna see in my business. I need somebody outside of me. To help give some guidance here. And that’s all it typically is. Just another perspective to be able to look at it and say, oh, I see where you’re stuck.

[00:24:02] Let me help. These are the next three steps that you need to take, and then you’ll be back on your way again. you’re, what is it? You’re stuck downtown and a town square and you’re trying to figure out how to get back to the highway, ask for directions, . Yeah. Somebody knows .

[00:24:17] Courtney: Yeah. Yeah. It’s really, you gotta get outta your own way.

[00:24:20] You have to. And other people’s perspective is, I can’t, I’ve had many coaches. Yeah. I’ve had many therapists. I love it. I, and I have had many times where I have sat there and letting my ego get the best of me. And then that’s when it’s okay, this isn’t working. Like I need It shuts off.

[00:24:42] Yeah. Yeah. let me seek outside and I’m an extrovert. I. So I, I get it for both, but that’s where the beauty is now, in this online space you can do coaching programs and you can do one-on-one. That is the beauty of it, because not all people are up for the [00:25:00] coaching or the group coaching, so they want the more intimate thing.

[00:25:03] there’s options literally out there for any personality type, any type of business owner, anything. Any stage of business too. Any stage. Yes, so I love it. I love all the options.

[00:25:15] Audra: So I guess bottom line after all of that is find some help. Yeah, don’t stay stuck. And if you’re not sure where to start, Posted on social media, I’m looking for some direction.

[00:25:27] Who would you recommend somebody has helped? Somebody that has helped somebody? That there’s plenty of resources out there. You just have to take the first step. they’re not gonna seek you out saying, Hey Courtney, you need some help today? occasionally you’ll run into that, but for the most part, if you wanna do this, you gonna have to toughen up and step up to the game.

[00:25:48] Otherwise you’ll get, pushed around and sent back and you will be looking for a job. . It’s competitive.

[00:25:55] Courtney: Yeah. and I know some people are like, they don’t wanna take that investment. But yeah, if you gotta look at it. It’s an investment in you. it’s not an investment in that other person.

[00:26:04] It’s an investment of in you to get the results that you wanna get. Now, will you 100% get the results if you hire a person to help you? No. No. All the time. Yeah. But you’ll at least get 80%. I stand by this motto of take what you want and leave the rest. Yeah. And anything but that investment in you and your business will help you get some result,

[00:26:32] Audra: and if nothing else, it’ll show you what you don’t want Exactly. Or what you don’t need. There’s always what is the saying? You either win [00:26:40] or you. Oh, I like that. Yes. Yeah, so that’s how it works. You either win and you keep growing or you’ll learn what you don’t want or what not to do or what doesn’t help, and that takes some more options off the plate and send you it back out there into another direction.

[00:26:57] it’s so important to recognize. Not that you need to spend so much time in your business, but you need to be able to say, okay, I recognize I am in the launch stage, or I am in the growth stage, whatever that looks like for you. if you think about it, your business goes through six different stages, as far as I’m concerned.

[00:27:18] You start with your idea, then you go to launch, then you go to growth, then you go to scale. Then you go to automate and then you’re hit your impact. So those six stages is typically what I see businesses go through. Focus on learning or getting help in the stage that you’re in. If you’re in the launch stage, you should not be talking about how to automate things yet.

[00:27:43] Take it off your plate. I think that’s another thing that we’re not necessarily taught because there’s so much noise out there. You should be running a funnel. You should be holding webinars, you should be doing seminars, but you need to really just pull back for a second and say, okay, the stage of business I’m at, what should I be focusing on?

[00:28:03] So one, I can get results, but two moves me onto the next stage. So many business owners are focusing at the wrong stage, at the wrong time, and then kept figuring out why it won’t work. , believe it or not, there is a process on how to effectively grow a business. [00:28:20] And I also get that most business owners don’t want to be in the weeds of this, don’t want to do the marketing, but until you’ve got revenue to afford a marketing person, guess who’s doing it?

[00:28:33] Courtney: I know. that’s why I love like the solopreneur, that’s how I am majority of all my business. I have done myself, yourself. and I’m okay with that until I am not , , but it is such a learning lesson and I think that is the biggest education you will give yourself if you are in it, understanding it, Yeah. Like I have, definitely helped friends who have their own businesses, and that’s why I’ve even branched out a little bit in consulting and social media stuff too. And I was helping a girlfriend who has her photography business. She’s oh my god, you know a lot of this. And I said, and you should know this too.

[00:29:11] You need to know, you need to know this and understand how this machine works. so being on, ground zero with it is key.

[00:29:21] Audra: And my goal as far as the marketplace and things I’ve built is not to turn everybody into marketers. Yeah. It’s to learn what you need to learn to keep moving through your business, but also hire effectively.

[00:29:33] , if you don’t know what it’s supposed to look like, how do you ever spend the money to hire somebody? us marketers. We’re not cheap. No, we’re gonna cost you some money. How are you gonna qualify that? I’m not just gonna throw off a whole bunch of marketing terms and make you think you’re getting something that you have no idea that you’re not.

[00:29:51] Yeah, that is possible, right? So you need to be able to understand how it’s supposed to work.

[00:29:57] Courtney: Yeah, like especially too, when you talk about [00:30:00] funnels, when I first started hearing the word funnels, I was like, what are they talking about? ? Yeah. Like I don’t get it. But once I started to put it together, but what I learned about funnels was the first yearlong coaching program I joined.

[00:30:12] And funnels was talked about in there, and I was like, Oh, I get it. Like it, so like listening to these gurus talk about funnels, like I finally understand what they’re talking about. so There’s a lot,

[00:30:24] Audra: and how does that apply to me? Again, focusing on tune out, what you don’t need to be hearing right now, if you’re not

[00:30:31] building a funnel yet, or you’re not working on automations, or you’re not setting up email sequences or whatever that looks like. Yeah, tune it out. Don’t overwhelm yourself with, okay, oh my gosh, I should be doing this and this and this. You’re not gonna do any of it effectively, right?

[00:30:46] So sit down, map it out, and just say, okay, where do I need to start to get me some kind of results? Based on the stage of business I’m currently at. , and that will help quiet that chaos and overwhelm that you’re feeling and stop comparing yourself to what you’re seeing online. They’re at a different stage, right? Maybe they’re at automate, their funnel has already built them a million dollars or generated them a million dollars. They’ve moved on to automate, but doesn’t mean that they didn’t do those first stages to get there. You’re just not seeing it in real time.

[00:31:20] Courtney: Yeah. and two, if you hear people talk about oh, I have three, a hundred or 1 million in revenue that has taken them some years to get to.

[00:31:30] And then you understand once you learn about marketing and in structuring your business properly and you understand what’s going [00:31:40] on, because that’s something that, it’s very, that’s a smoke and mirrors. Yes. like honestly. And I have a good girlfriend. We talk about this stuff cuz we love it.

[00:31:50] And then, and I am always like, I figured out how they did this, how they are making a million dollars or brought their one program made them a million dollars over the course. I’m like, this is all an email automation. It’s it’s crazy. They even touched it since they wrote it. They’re probably looking at the data and tweaking.

[00:32:10] In adding, yes. Doing some maybe testing, but for the most part, yeah. Yeah. yeah. So it’s business is a fun process to learn. You just gotta, learn it though yourself. ,

[00:32:19] Audra: what would you suggest for people that are struggling with balancing?

[00:32:24] A lot of it now my kids are grown and I, I know it was a different time when I was raising them, trying to balance time. let’s specifically address women here for a second. and small children. , I want to start a business. I know I can, my husband financially is take, or my partner is taking care of the load of it.

[00:32:43] Where would you suggest they put that out? Is it, what? What does that direction look like?

[00:32:47] Courtney: would first start off with, if you’re gonna commit to it, you need to commit to it. okay. Because the consistency is key here of a successful business of what success looks like to you.

[00:32:58] Consistency. because, When you have small children, they’re your number one priority. You’re taking care of them all day long. Nap time is, a necessity of what then you need to do. So I would suggest. To make sure that you’re gonna be consistent. I had, a mom of two reach out to me a while ago and she’s I wanna [00:33:20] start a podcast.

[00:33:20] And I said to her, are you ready to be consistent with it? Because if you want a podcast, you have to be consistent with the podcast and be consistent with it. If you are like, yes, this is what I wanna do, and then map out too, okay, I need to give myself and. Be realistic with your timing. , it’s 15 minutes.

[00:33:44] Yeah, like I need to put four hours aside a week. Yeah, to work at what I need to do. Yeah. And then commit to that and each week do the four hours a week because listen, you need to sleep. If you have small children, , rest and sleep come easy. So really being consistent, setting that I deal realistic amount of time aside mm-hmm.and then executing it, . So cuz if you think about it like maybe there is during the period of a nap time that you could spend. Four days, an hour of day on your business and go from there. Yeah. Asking your partner, Hey, I’m gonna take Saturday morning to spend that time to work towards my business.

[00:34:32] Are you cool with taking over? Yeah. I don’t ever like to say babysit with parents cuz I don’t thinks that’s what’s Yeah. that’s their kid. That’s their kid. You step up. Yeah. Like you, you are on Saturday and sometimes maybe just need to tell your partner on Saturday morning. Yeah. You are going to wake up.

[00:34:52] and you are gonna do what you know in the morning time and I’m going to trap myself in the room and work on this just [00:35:00] for a couple hours and then we will go on with our day. But I really think you have to be ideal about your timeframe Yeah. With young children and in starting a business or if you’re stuck.

[00:35:10] Audra: So Yeah. So I think it really comes back to, and it doesn’t matter if you have kids or not, if you’ve got a job or other outside commitments besides just yourself, then time management. Is probably one of the biggest things that’s gonna serve you at the beginning, in the middle, and definitely at the end.

[00:35:30] Now we’re different people, right? . So the person I was in 2009 when I started my agency is very different than the Audra I am today. . And I had to evolve. Now, if you said 14 years ago, I should have launched zindo Marketplace, which is the project that I’m working on now. I couldn’t have,

[00:35:51] I wasn’t emotionally and intellectually and knowledgeable enough to pull something like that off. Now mind you, I am a paper person, so I like to write stuff. Yep. And I went back and I found my notebooks from 2010. So in 2010, I did have the idea of zindo, it wasn’t called zindo and Company, then it was called Social Marketing Center.

[00:36:18] And, it was going to be this training side and all these resources for small businesses. I couldn’t pull it off even. I’m smart. I have two degrees. I’m a master practitioner. In N L P I raised three kids by myself. I’ve had multiple businesses. it’s not about intellect, it’s not about the ability to learn.

[00:36:38] I wasn’t there [00:36:40] and until. I grew into the person that I was met to become or struggle with, or fail with, or whatever that looks like. I couldn’t pull this project off. Now, this project I’ve been working on, gosh, probably four years between clients. It’s still not a hundred percent and it’ll continue to evolve, but again, I’m having to grow into it as I’m building it, and that’s okay.

[00:37:07] There’s nothing to apologize, to be able to do that. You should never look at yourself like, oh my gosh, I’m failing because I have all this knowledge. I should already be across the finish line. Or, three quarters through this race. You’re not, I’m living proof of it. I consider myself a success.

[00:37:23] Yeah. Still not there. No, that’s okay.

[00:37:26] Courtney: I love that too. And that’s the other thing. since I was probably like seven or eight, I always wanted to write a book, right? I always wanted really good. I always wanted to be come around. Yeah. I always wanted to be like a published author. And let me tell you, when you’re writing a book, the Fantasy is gone.

[00:37:44] The fantasy. This is not like Carrie Bradshaw, you’re. Staring out the window and like looking at New York City in the fall time, right? Like you, you were staring out the window kind of crying,but that’s the thing. The universe for some reason handed me that when I was ready, now it handed me that when my son was about seven months old.

[00:38:08] But In that year since he was born. I was like, I’m just gonna come from the place of Yes. Like just you, I get these offers, I’m just gonna say yes. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Cuz as once you birth a child, it’s like I can do anything. But [00:38:20] I really do feel that I wasn’t given that opportunity before cuz I wasn’t ready.

[00:38:25] , I wasn’t ready to take that on or be in that exact place at that exact moment where I was like, I can do this and I have the time to do this, and I’m emotionally mature enough to take this project on, and deliver what I signed the contract of what I was gonna deliver if I was given this 5, 6, 7 years ago.

[00:38:46] , no way. No way. So I do believe that the, the universe works out in the ways of when you are ready.

[00:38:54] Audra: the other lesson I take away from that is we also don’t trust our subconscious mind enough that it’s going to guide us in the right direction. A lot of times we’re not listening to it, right?

[00:39:05] We allow the ego to come out and say, I know what’s best for me. I know what I’m gonna, and I’m gonna force this triangle in a square. But you have this little voice that’s saying, eh, I think you need to go this way. This is a better path for you. And a lot of times we shut that down or we don’t trust that.

[00:39:22] guess what? If that was the path that you were supposed to go on it, you will be back to it. Yeah. You may take the long trip around it, but it’s gonna bring you back. Yes. Because I’m like, oh my gosh, why didn’t I just listen to myself back then? . Absolutely. Yeah. Just wasn’t meant to be like you just said, until you’re ready for it.

[00:39:40] to not just have the expertise for it, but the emotional commitment, the integrity, the, Challenges that are gonna come with it. There’s a lot that comes with this suitcase of being self-employed or being an entrepreneur. , until you’re ready to pick that sucker up and go for the long haul, keep building the muscle then, [00:40:00] and you’ll take it on when you can when you’re ready.

[00:40:02] Courtney: Exactly. But 100%. So it will come to you and if it doesn’t come to you, then it’s not your time. Or if it wasn’t meant for you, it wasn’t meant for you to have you. yeah.

[00:40:13] Audra: Many people have tried and have not made it across that finish line. I’ve done a lot of mentoring through my years, and occasionally I’ll run into somebody that’s got a brilliant idea, is ready to go at it, thinks it’s, because it’s wonderful and the universe needs it, and I’m the person to deliver it.

[00:40:32] But they’re not willing to make the sacrifices that come along with it. And really it’s commitment and consistency. you said it. Yeah. Those two are probably the biggest that will either support your business growth or prevent it. And without those two, it’s pretty tough. And you know, I’ll run into those folks a year later, and it’s the same story.

[00:40:51] They’re a little bit more beaten up and they’re a little bit more. Fatigued from being on that same journey, but they haven’t doubled down and they haven’t made that commitment of, I’m burning the bridges or burning the boats and, and I’m really gonna give it my all to make this happen. There’s that fear that keeps them really from committing a hundred percent And if you allow that to be the bigger voice, it will be challenging.

[00:41:17] Courtney: Yeah. and let me. Yes. Cause I just wanna say, when I say be consistent, that it is that commitment that you are gonna see it through, because trust me, you, especially to with young kids or if you have something else going on, or that you have a full-time job.

[00:41:34] listen, you can take a day or two off. of course. but you gotta come back for it and be [00:41:40] like, okay, if you said you’re gonna do this launch on April 1st, whatever the case may launch it, and if there’s crickets, learn from it. , right? Iback in March, 2020, I first. group coaching program.

[00:41:53] , heard crickets for months. , yeah. Launch during the worst time of one of our worlds experiences of March, 2020. Yeah. So it’s just, but I didn’t give up. I kept showing up And kept moving forward. that’s a huge lesson cuz a lot of people took that as an easy out.

[00:42:15] And it could, and it really could, it could have been, but I think too, as somebody, as you said too of you get to a point where you’re just like, I can’t go backwards. when I left the medical field and decided to really, go back to bartending and do the health coaching I, my sister-in-law said to me, she’s so what are you gonna do if this doesn’t work out? , are you gonna go back to the medical field? And I remember saying to her, no, I’m just gonna keep going forward. because there are a couple different types of people in this world, and one is one person who will go back.

[00:42:49] And two is the other person who will move forward. And move forward because you don’t ever want to be. That life didn’t work for you. and within the past couple months, I’ve had some self-awareness where when I was sitting in that medical field at that office, didn’t have kids, nothing.

[00:43:07] But I always thought, who’s gonna watch my ki Like when my husband and I have kids, I’m just gonna be working to put him or her in daycare. Yeah. And then I thought to myself, I was like, oh my [00:43:20] God. I am actually doing what I used to daydream about in that office. I am a stay-at-home working mother. Yeah, it does get challenging Some days, I’m not gonna say this is all like unicorns and scrunchies, , but I am actually able to stay home with my son and be a part of these years to witness.

[00:43:41] And My manifestation has all come true today. Nice. Because I kept moving forward. Because you keep moving forward. Yeah. Keep moving forward. Yeah.

[00:43:51] Audra: There’s no straight line. Please don’t ever think that the line is gonna be straight.

[00:43:56] It’s a big refocus for me. If I’ve been going down a path and I’m fatigued from being on that journey , take a minute to stop and look backwards. how far I’ve come. Okay, because sometimes looking forward is overwhelming because you look at all the things that you still have to do.

[00:44:13] Yes. Oh my gosh, I still gotta build this and I still need to do this and this, and it could be overwhelming when you’re not able to compartmentalize, all those things that still need to happen in your business. Stop for a second. Look back. Just turn around and say, okay, wait a second.

[00:44:28] Yes. I’m not where I wanna be. Yes, there’s still a thousand things that need to be done, but I’ve actually made some pretty good progress here. , I took an idea, I’ve launched it. I have some customers. starting to build a little bit of a community or connection with people I’m helping. I’m doing what, parts of what I wanna do.

[00:44:48] All of those will help recenter you again and say, okay. Okay. instead of just chasing what’s in front of us, slow down for a second and appreciate how far you have come. Yeah. Because sometimes that’s all we [00:45:00] need to take a breath, get some water, get a rest. to start back down that path again.

[00:45:06] Yep. Abso, I agree with everything you just said. , 100%. Yep. it’s a good balance between them all. So as we try to, wrap things up, what would you say is a go-to that you use to keep you going down the path? I mean, is it setting goals for yourself? Is it, that kind of refocuses and brings things back for you if you’re running into challenges?

[00:45:32] Courtney: That I want, honestly, because at the end, I don’t wanna look back and be like, I should’ve, would’ve coulda. I have always been one of those persons to think of that. Yeah. At the end, I don’t ever wanna say, I wish I would’ve done more of this. Good. so for me it’s, I really just love the.

[00:45:51] Entrepreneur, the solo entrepreneur, the business of it in that I am going to reach my goal of what I wanna reach my goal. I just have to figure out what works, doesn’t work. It’s all a learning lesson. Yeah. and then the challenge of it too is like, now as a mom, it’s like, I don’t wanna have to go back and be an employee and then not be here for

[00:46:13] My son or working the night and not being able to sit down and,have these dinners with my husband and my son. So I have to look at the bigger picture now because like you, there is a point where once you’re in it so far, You don’t wanna go back and to honestly, these post 2020 times working for somebody

[00:46:34] And also to working in the general population. If you are in any type of service [00:46:40] services, it’s a whole different ballgame. It’s a whole different ballgame nowadays. So I just keep moving forward, and just remembering it’s going to work out. Now if it does, in the end it does, and if it doesn’t, then something else was meant to be.

[00:46:56] That’s good. not being so tied to the end result, but committed to the end result. Yeah. Committed. Committed in consistency, I hope. Yeah. The who was,a listener takes that today. Yeah. That is the name of the game. And too, you hear it all the time that people who are just about to give.

[00:47:17] And who have, let’s burn the business to the ground. Let’s throw the laptop out of the window. Let’s just say Epic. I’m done with it. Are always the ones where it pushes forward and their break happens like that. And like I think of that too, where you know of what my success would be. I’m always like, I’m so close, I can taste it and I just don’t wanna give up before it actually happens.

[00:47:41] And that might take 20 years, but that’s okay. Yeah. Yeah. As long as you have that hunger of, okay, what’s next?

[00:47:48] Or, I’m so close to reaching this goal, another goal will show up Yes. And give you more direction and more motivation. What’s the plan for you after the book is finished? what I would like to do after the book is finished, obviously grow more of my coaching business Sure.

[00:48:03] But then I want to switch it to, speaking engagements. Yes. And definitely reach more out into the corporate world and space. Okay. And talk more about, addiction and recovery in Yeah. the workspace, because there needs to be a [00:48:20] lot of education in that and even to how to. with work,

[00:48:24] preventative too, because work can cause a lot of, triggers, Yeah. Just like we need to have more of a balance in the workspace and mm-hmm. ,just keep talking and bringing awareness and ending the stigma against addiction and sobriety because there’s so much and so many layers to it.

[00:48:40] Audra: I bet. I bet. so what’s your last takeaway that you wanna share with the audience? to help them kind of something that maybe they can remember, so when they’re struggling, they could say, okay, I listened to Courtney’s podcast and she said to.

[00:48:58] Courtney: I have to, cuz this is one of my favorite quotes of all time,

[00:49:01] And it’s from Frederick Douglas. But it’s without struggle. There is no progress. So if you were in the middle of a struggle, you gotta look at it as that struggle is going to help you move forward. Yeah, there’s always a lesson of what you are in, and sometimes even the lesson is just being still and being quiet and figuring it out within a 24, 48 hour period of okay, let me sit on this.

[00:49:23] I don’t need to make any decisions. I don’t need to throw out my laptop. I am just going . I’m just going to move. I’m just gonna see what I can learn from this lesson and this struggle. In that struggle, you’re always going to find your answers in. That struggle ball . And it will help you move forward.

[00:49:43] Yeah. But just don’t give up on yourself cuz you are worth having what your dream is. Yeah. You are worth that and you deserve that. And just to keep moving forward.

[00:49:54] Audra: That’s awesome. All right, with that said, thanks so much for being here. I have truly [00:50:00] enjoyed this conversation. me too.

[00:50:01] Thank you for having me on. I told you before, I love talking business. And anybody else, if you feel that, one, if you struggle with any kind of addiction and Courtney can help, please feel free to reach out to her. she knows her business allow somebody else to help you or point you in the right direction to get that, part of your life, back.

[00:50:22] if that’s something that you’re challenged with and you know what? Everything that we’ve talked about here hasn’t necessarily had anything to do with specifically business or addiction. it has to do with life and what each one of us, challenges come up. It doesn’t matter if it’s emotionally, financially.

[00:50:42] Mentally, physically, they’re gonna come up. And the goal of podcasts like this and having these kind of conversations is to be able to say, you know what? I’m not trying to get rid of challenges. I’m just trying to develop better skills to be able to work through these kind of challenges when they do come up.

[00:51:00] That’s it. Yep. Because they’re gonna happen. So we either figure out how to get through ’em, or we’re at a place where we write a check to solve it. That is it? Yep. Absolutely. Absolutely. All right. Until next time. Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for listening to The Mess in the Middle Podcast. If you like what you heard, you can subscribe on your favorite podcast app. If you are ready to continue growing your business, head over to zindolabs dot com. Be sure to join our free community and check out our monthly webinars and explore dozens of online [00:51:40] courses and professional certifications.

[00:51:42] So until next time, keep moving through the middle.

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