Amy Fuentes

We welcome Amy Fuentes, a speaker, author, and coach to the show. Lots of great stuff packed in this session. So are you in doing mode or being mode? Let’s find out!

amy-fuentes

About Amy

In this podcast episode, Audra Carpenter and Amy Fuentes discuss the evolution of women in the workforce and the challenges that come with it.

Amy is a professional public speaker who empowers and impacts women to reimagine their decisions so that they can find their voice, change their stories, and become their own heroes in all aspects of their lives.

They also discuss the challenges that come with the empty nest transition, especially when combined with menopause, and how the brain is being rewired as women go through that phase in life.

ABOUT THE GUEST

The Amy Fuentes 
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HOSTED BY

Audra Carpenter

SPECIAL GUEST

Amy Fuentes

PRODUCED & EDITED BY

CJ Carpenter

 

 

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EPISODE 06

Episode Transcript

*What follows is an AI-generated transcript may not be 100% accurate. 

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[00:00:00] Audra: welcome back today. I’ve got a special guest. Amy is here with us and we’re going to learn some pretty interesting things. Her and I had a pre-talk about what she’s working on, and I’m excited for her to share it with you. 

[00:00:51] So welcome, Amy. I’m so glad you’re here.

[00:00:54] Thanks 

[00:00:54] Amy: so much for having me. I’m so glad to be here. 

[00:00:57] good. So why don’t we start out letting people know who you are and what you do, and then we’ll dive in from there. 

[00:01:03] Amy: I’ve worn a lot of hats over the years and done a lot of different things.

[00:01:07] Okay. from products and things along those lines, and had a couple of different businesses. But right now, I’m super excited because I have become a professional public speaker and I empower impact, people, women specifically on, Let me do that again. , all of a sudden I stumbled. No, you’re good. And that’s a good thing with this, right?

[00:01:34] So I, and now I am a professional public speaker where [00:01:40] I empower and impact women to reimagine their decisions so that they can find their voice, change their stories, and become their own heroes in all aspect of their lives. 

[00:01:52] Audra: Nice. I think we are, We’re women specifically, we’re evolving to a new place right now.

[00:01:58] we’ve been, I’ve been fortunate. You probably have too, I know I’m older than you, but women were just starting to find their place. They were, there were lots of them, but it was still probably 70 30, the women that had really great success and over the last probably 20 years,it’s starting to change a little bit.

[00:02:16] Audra: There’s a lot more CEOs, there’s a lot more founders. We’re really being able to design our own lives. And that should have happened, a hundred years ago. But, every year you say 

[00:02:26] Amy: back then they would say behind every good man is a good woman. I remember that. and now the women don’t have to stand behind the men.

[00:02:33] They can actually stand 

[00:02:34] Audra: on their own. Nah, that’s beautiful. And I have two daughters, so believe me, they are independent and they recognize they each have partner, boyfriend or husband, but, they recognize that on their own, they’re fine. The other person is just an addition. It’s not what makes them whole.

[00:02:52] And it’s evolution, right? We had to evolve out of that kind of, I don’t know, training, , brainwash. I don’t, You needed people for, you needed 

[00:03:02] Amy: people to pave the way and break out of the box and Yeah. and I’m grateful that I have the opportunity to continue that, Okay. To continue to break out of the box and inspire women to, do what they want, what’s in their hearts.

[00:03:16] Right? And so often we are [00:03:20] controlled, not controlled, but we’re controlled by our thoughts. And our thoughts are created by a lot of the situations that we’ve been in and mainstream society in what we’ve been taught and told. unlearning is a lot more difficult right. Than learning in the first place.

[00:03:36] First, there’s so many of us. Because as because of the generation that we grew up in, are having to unlearn a lot of things that we were told as we were, growing 

[00:03:47] Audra: up. Yeah. it’s definitely been an evolution. So have you always done this or always wanted to do this? No. , 

[00:03:54] Amy: no. Matter of fact, I remember in college having to take a public speaking course, I literally almost peed myself and, so nervous and the butterflies and the heart racing and all of that.

[00:04:06] no it wasn’t. I’ve done public speaking in some other hats that I’ve worn in other industries and other, positions that I’ve held. Okay. But. After I, after my children, I have two girls as well. They’re both grown and out of the house. And as my daughter was approaching graduating high school, I knew I was in for that transition of empty nest because my second was going the following year.

[00:04:32] Amy: And it took me, I’m almost embarrassed to say this, you guys, I, it took me years to process who I am. , what I want. I had nurtured my relationship with my kids and my relationship with my husband and my relationship with my friends and my relationship with my siblings. But I had lost that relationship with who I was.

[00:04:53] Yeah. And it started me on a journey. And what I realized is that there are a lot of women [00:05:00] and a lot of men who support women that are going through this empty nest. Transition because we go through lots of transitions. yeah, of course. And, the combination of hitting right at about the time of menopause When not only are your hormones fluctuating, but what I didn’t know at the time was that your brain is actually being rewired as a woman, as brain is being required as you go through menopause. So things that you do great. 

[00:05:28] Audra: That’s why that is wise. It all 

[00:05:31] Amy: that you did on the norm, you can’t do that way anymore.

 

[00:05:36] Yeah. Things that you did like by habit, don’t work for you anymore. And Oh my gosh. In combination of working through the empty nest, I’m thrown into the hormone and the rewiring of my brain. And I’ll give you an example cuz people were like, Oh, what? Yeah. Yeah. I’m very much, I am in process.

[00:05:54] I’m re reforming Type A perfectionist. Okay. And as such, I used to have a list, a legal size page long, right? Okay. Write everything down. You check it off. I would be able to plow through an entire list in a day. I’ve got millions of things cuz you’re managing lots of different people and everything.

[00:06:14] And when I started going through this, if I had more than two things on my list, I literally would have a panic attack and not be able to get out bed. And I was like, what the heck? What is going on with me? I literally, my heart would race. I would almost hyperventilate and I was like, This is ridiculous.

[00:06:34] And I would be hard on myself being the perfectionist. Sure. What’s 

[00:06:37] Audra: wrong with you? Get up. [00:06:40] 

[00:06:40] Amy: Yeah. Get your fanny moving. What’s wrong with you? Yeah. And had no idea that it was a process of actually a medical thing that your brain is being rewired. And when I learned how to manage that and stop beating myself up.

[00:06:56] Yeah. But instead say, what is one thing, just one. That I absolutely have to do today. Everything else you can put it on your list, But put it on like page two on page one. All I saw was this one thing. And regardless of what it is in business, it might be, doing your accounting or it might be doing outreach, or it might be, for me, writing that talk or doing the follow up or whatever it might be.

[00:07:22] But it’s just one thing. I need to write the email to the event planner period. Okay. And when I could do that, my brain wasn’t overwhelmed and literally short, short circuiting to the point where I couldn’t get anything done. so because of that. And how did you 

[00:07:40] Audra: find out that was going on? I 

[00:07:42] Amy: actually read a book by Dr.

[00:07:44] Christine Northrop. Okay. Who is, Oh, I know her. An ob gyn. yeah. She wrote a book about menopause and I’ll be honest, I never read the whole thing. But we’re not spread to part. That told me about the rewiring of my brain. And when I understood it, I could not only give myself compassion, but I could also then, this is something that I also talk about a lot with my community online as well as in my talks, is that Wayne Dyer says, When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, right?

[00:08:16] And so when I was able to change the way I was [00:08:20] looking at the situation I was in, I was able to tackle it from a different perspective, and then my situation 

[00:08:26] Audra: changed. Interesting. I can imagine how many women that have no idea that’s all it. And I say that’s all it is, but we’re all gonna go through it.

[00:08:36] If we’re fortunate enough to live past, 40 or 45, it’s gonna happen. But understanding, and I think it’s because it’s not, it doesn’t just abruptly happen. One minute you’re doing, it’s the next minute you’re not. It’s a gradual thing that your body starts changing. So you don’t really pay attention to those little tiny things until of a sudden where it’s super extreme, I did this and now I’m here.

[00:09:00] How the heck did I get here? What happened? Yeah. That’s good to 

[00:09:04] Amy: Bring it to that overnight. It just, it slowly. And then one day you wake up and you’re like, what’s going on? 

[00:09:09] Holy heck, am I dying? Is there something wrong? I can’t focus. 

[00:09:14] Amy: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s a lot of it. You can’t focus you, you feel overwhelmed.

[00:09:19] Yeah. and for each of us it’s different. Sure. And that was it for me. Sure. That it for a lot of women, but for each of us is a little bit 

[00:09:26] Audra: different. Yeah. Okay. So you found your place where you want to talk about different kinds of things to be able to empower women. what do you what your anchors that you stand on?

[00:09:38] Are they mental health? Are they physical? Are they emotional? Is it a combination of 

[00:09:44] Amy: it? It’s a combination. Okay. I, my big thing, I have two. First of all, the awareness. Of what you’re going through. So many of us are on autopilot. we’re in a habit. We get up on the [00:10:00] same side of the bed, we brush our teeth with the same hand.

[00:10:02] We go to work the same way. we’re stop, take a breath and start really looking and becoming aware of what you’re doing. And do you wanna do it like becoming aware of your decisions? Yeah. And a lot of people don’t know, but we make 35,000 decisions a day. A day. Wow. . So becoming more aware of the decisions make us have a lot more control over where our lives are going instead of like, How did I end up here?

[00:10:32] where I ended up there. Because you’re consciously making the decisions. So I talk a lot about the consciousness of being aware of what you’re doing. And the other thing that I talk about is that you’re just one decision away from a totally different life. Okay? And it is literally one decision, not a ma.

[00:10:52] Amy: And a lot of times people think it’s a major decision like moving or starting a business or ending a business, but it’s not. It’s a tiny decision. The decision to get up before your alarm clock can totally, completely change your day. The decision to look at yourself and find one positive thing that you like in the mirror.

[00:11:12] Yeah. Instead of nitpicking yourself to death as you’re brushing your teeth. Can totally change your can and does totally change your day. Yeah. So being just one decision away from a totally different life is something that I like to impart upon the people that are in my communities and at my talks.

[00:11:29] Audra: That’s awesome. I, I can talk about, just recently, so I broke my ankle, I moved at the end of March, and then three weeks [00:11:40] later I fell and broke my ankle. Now I’ve never broken anything before. It was just a freak thing. Just, I don’t even have a good story on why it happened. no good adventure at all.

[00:11:51] But you know what it did do, It forced me to slow down. I couldn’t even sit at my desk because I couldn’t have my foot down. and I live. it was very challenging and it forced me to really think through my thoughts on do I really need to do that? Because that means I have to get up and I have to find my crutches and I have to, that it completely changed the way that I was looking at my life because I was on autopilot.

[00:12:16] I’m building this massive project and that’s been my focus for the last couple of years, and there’s not been a whole lot outside of that. My kids, my grandkids, and my work, and that’s been about it. So this kind of forced me to slow down. I had to work off a laptop, which is like painful for me because you can do so little.

[00:12:39] people, you laugh, but when you’re used to being so productive, I have multiple screens and I have this and I have that and technology, and I’m doing five things at one time. It really just, And so I had to sit with myself and say, Okay, what is the lesson? What do I need to come out of this with?

[00:12:56] Audra: Why am I here? Because I believe the universe, if you don’t slow down the universe, slows you down because you’re certainly not getting it right. You don’t get to move past this until you get whatever that lesson is, right? and so it was good. I’m mobile now, right? I wore the boot. I had to wear that boot for about, two and a half months or so, and then I’m in a brace now, but I’m walking without crutches and things like [00:13:20] that.

[00:13:20] but I don’t want that time to be wasted, right? I don’t wanna just swing right back to where I was before. I want to be able to say, You know what? I’m gonna slow down. I’m gonna just be right here, right now and just enjoy what it is regard if I’m doing anything or not, just right. Yeah, just be present.

[00:13:37] Audra: I’m so glad that you 

[00:13:38] Amy: said that because that is something that I am also working on. Yeah. Is that I’m a doer. And for all of you who are doers, you can raise your hand. I’m a doer. I’m a doer. And that’s what I mean. When I had a to-do list, I got lots of stuff done and it was really challenging for me back then.

[00:13:58] And even today, there are days. Where I have to consciously be aware that I’m back in doing mode and not being mode. Yeah. And I also believe as you do that there are in the universe sending you Yeah. Messages. And I also think that there are cycles in our lives. Yeah. And so often I will be in a cycle of doing.

[00:14:19] And then like recently, I’m not in a cycle of doing good. I’m in a cycle of being good and I would beat myself up with you’re not being productive. You haven’t put any, you’re not recording any videos, you’re, but yet when I was in the doing stage, I recorded enough videos. Good. what needed to last for me to be in the being stage.

[00:14:42] And so by not, again, giving yourself some grace and not beating yourself up and allowing your mind and your body to take a break. Yeah. I have a friend, who lives in Europe. Okay. Really good friend. And she’s also, she’s always telling [00:15:00] me the best way to get creative, the best way to get motivation. The best way to get that energy is to take a break.

[00:15:09] And I would tell her, I don’t have enough time to take a break. And what she sent to me was so profound and so write on the money. And that was if you take a 30 minute. If you go to sleep, read a book, go for a walk, chat with a friend on a phone and disengage for 30 minutes, you will get your to-do list, whatever that item is, in half the amount of time because you’ve given your brain the capa, the capability of taking a breath instead of pushing it.

[00:15:41] and not, Yeah, and not, it’s like when I also forget to eat, I’ll go and go and I’ll look up and it’s three o’clock. I don’t do that anymore. I, sometimes I have to set a timer so that I make sure that I’m eating and I’m feeding my body and I’m giving my mind that rest.

[00:15:55] Amy: Talking about. Re rewiring your brain Yeah. And how it’s working. And so I agree with you 150%. if you don’t, and for those who might be in the cycle of being Yeah. Or approaching it to just embrace it and don’t be fearful. The fear is I’m never gonna be back to doing. And I’m here to tell you, for those of us that are doers, you’re not gonna be in the being stage forever.

[00:16:23] You’re gonna be in the being stage for as long as your body needs to recover, to get that creativity, that new idea, that new opportunity. And then when that comes, your energy level will surge and you’ll have the energy to actually do all those things that you [00:16:40] are 

[00:16:40] Audra: wanting to do. I think that, I find when I hit that wall is where I sit down in front of the computer and I can’t create, It’s like there’s, I got nothing.

[00:16:50] I got nothing left. I need to just walk away from this for a minute because my brain is just, I’ve spent whatever I had. and a lot of times I’ll just get up and go for a walk for 30 minutes. Yeah. Put some music on. And at that point I do need to do music instead of podcast because if I force my brain to learn more, I didn’t really give it a break.

[00:17:11] I gotta do music and then I’m able to like, okay, I’m good now. I don’t do caffeine other than in the morning I’ll have a cup of coffee, otherwise I don’t have caffeine the rest of the day. But, so the food and having a break has to be enough to fuel me to get through. And I work, I do some long days.

[00:17:29] Audra: I’m probably putting in 10, 12 hour days right now, seven days a week. But I’m doing that by choice, right? Because of what I’m launching, not because I have. 

[00:17:37] and I agree with you a hundred percent. Just a little, gift tidbit of information. Uh,Please. When you’re looking, when you’re listening to music.

[00:17:45] Amy: Yeah. Here is actually a, there is actually, this may be woo for some, so no. But, that’ll get you, Our bodies are made up of energy. And so as energy, we vibrate at a certain frequency. And so when we’re vibrating, and you know this intrinsically, everybody knows this because you feel different when you’re angry versus happy, you feel different when you are sad versus energized.

[00:18:10] You just feel different because you’re vibrating on a different level. And so many people say to me, then, Oh, I won’t be on the low level. We sometimes we need to be on that [00:18:20] low level in order to see something or experiencing something. But when you’re going out there and you wanna rejuvenate.

[00:18:27] Putting on, there’s a particular type of music that is done at a certain frequency that actually raises your vibration. And there’s a group that I listen to called Wholetones, W H O L E T O N E S. There’s a couple of them, but if you put out, like frequent five 18 or 5 25 Herz, H Z music you will get the music. And depending on what the hurts is, it can help you sleep, it can help you calm down. It can help you get clarity. It can, it, depending on what the frequency is. Okay. And so the music is beautiful. Yeah. But the frequency is in the background, so it’s subtle. And unless you’re looking for it, it’s it’s if you’ve ever seen, Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock.

[00:19:18] Yeah. And she looks her finger, And she goes like this on the glass and gives like a really high tone. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like a, it’s a tone, it’s a vibration that’s laced into the music. So the music is soothing and beautiful. Interesting that you get the benefit of the rise of your vibration and mood when you listen to it.

[00:19:37] Audra: Oh, definitely have to check that out. Thank you. I’ll normally just go to Pandora and pick spa music or something like that. Something. And especially too, it depends on where I’m at. If my brain is really spun out. I need to do something like meditation or mine. Valley’s got some really great music on their website that if you’re a member you can go through.

[00:19:59] so it just [00:20:00] depends. If I’m just fatigued, but it’s like I need to get my brain’s fine, I’m just fatigued from it, then I wanna listen to upbeat music or I’m gonna listen to some jazz or, I don’t really do down music real well. That’s because I am, I feel things so much, I feel like I’m a little bit of an empath, so I absorb that down.

[00:20:19] Audra: Soul sad kind of music. I don’t listen to it. It just, it completely changed my mood for no reason. I’m like, Oh my gosh, I was fine. And now I feel melancholy and sad and I just, so I don’t do it. I know it’s not. it’s funny, it’s not what 

[00:20:34] Amy: I’m for How many people, when they’re sad and listen to sad music, you just friend and then you just, you and you wallow in it.

[00:20:43] And I always tell, my followers and such that it’s, you need to process that sadness. you can’t just push it down because it’ll bubble up. The universe will make you deal with it. Deal with it, but deal with it. Just don’t wallow in it. You know what 

[00:20:57] Audra: I mean? Yeah. I put something in place a long time ago.

[00:21:01] I, life, I’ve had a very awesome life, but I’ve also had my share of challenges raising three kids by myself. But what I would do is something challenging would happen, I would say, Okay, you got a. To go through it and I actually had to set a time limit for myself. But you got a week, you can cry and feel sad for yourself and sorry, and listen to bad music and eat bad food.

[00:21:23] Audra: And, but then at the end of that week, you’re gonna suck it up and you’re going to move on and put it away. Journal, whatever you gotta do to get through it. and then you put it away. You say, Okay, thank you for that experience. Now I know what I wanna do different going forward. And it’s been a great way for me to [00:21:40] handle challenges that would come up.

[00:21:41] And now it is just automatic cuz I’ve been doing it for so many years. But, and I haven’t had a whole lot of challenges lately, for after my kids were raised, the challenges went away. , they definitely 

[00:21:52] Amy: subsided and got less, that’s for sure. 

[00:21:55] Audra: Yeah, they do. but it’s good to be able to, don’t stay in that perpetual circle otherwise it’s can be not good for you.

[00:22:02] Amy: Yeah. Yeah. and I know that you talked to a lot of entrepreneurs, so Yeah. when we’re talking, right now we may be talking about personal stuff, but this translates to your business as well. You’re bidding for a deal or, you’re putting, going up against a, some other companies or whatever for a particular deal, and you don’t end up getting it.

[00:22:21] it would be inhuman to not be sad or not be angry or not be disappointed, frustrated, or Yeah. Or whatever. So feel that go out, walk in nature, do these things. One thing that I will say though is, There’s so many things as an entrepreneur that we get hit with, that we’re, you may sit down and plan your day today, I’m gonna do X, y, Z.

[00:22:41] Amy: Right? And you get things left and right coming in, and when you get that, when you get the rug ripped out from under you or something blind size,you’re vote narrow your tunnel vision, you’re gonna get that, that for me, I do aha moments. So when I have something that has occurred to me that has impacted my life in a positive or uplifting or even just an awareness thing, then I record it and I put it out for my community and it aha moment on all different things, on relationships and, just insightful things.

[00:23:18] Okay. That, and they can [00:23:20] check that out. I ha I have ’em on YouTube, and all of that. But when I am. Now I’ve lost my train of thought. When I am doing, Oh, when I’m doing all of that, let’s say I’m planning to do that, right? Okay. And I’m in my zone of genius. I’m in the doer mode, right? I don’t need to take a break and all these things start calling and happening at me.

[00:23:42] One thing that you can do really quickly, to. Suppress your nervous system. Cuz what happens is your nervous system gets fired up. . And you’re like, I’m not gonna make that deadline. This person’s mad at me. Am I gonna be able to do this? And all of these thoughts start running through your head.

[00:23:59] Best pattern interrupt that I have found that works for me every single time is what I call box breathing. Okay. And that’s where you breathe in for account of four. You hold your breath for account of four, you exhale for account of four and you stay empty for account of four. And I do this a couple of times.

[00:24:19] Normally I close my eyes and I do this. And if you can take it a step further and actually focus your attention on the air coming into your nose. versus the air coming out of your nose and see if you can, feel. A difference in temperature. And the reason why you do this is when you narrowly focus your attention like that, you can’t think about all these other things that you were thinking about two seconds ago.

[00:24:45] Nice. And it only takes mere moments, 30 seconds to do a couple of box breaths and it will, what it does is it suppresses that, sympathetic nervous system and it turns on the parasympathetic, which [00:25:00] allows you to deal with all of the chaos that has now been thrown at you. I wanted to share that 

[00:25:04] Audra: with your No, that’s good.

[00:25:05] That’s good. Anybody can use that. No matter if personally running into challenges, businesses melting down, your kids are melting down. I think it’s a great thing to have available in your toolbox. we all hit overwhelm at some. Oh, and it’s just a, it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when and how often and it’s developing, I think different kinds of tools and resources as an entrepreneur to be able to push through that stuff.

[00:25:34] being self-employed is not for the week. It definitely is not. It can be. and Not saying people are weaker, People are strong, but Right. You run into a lot of challenges and you have to, just because we decide to launch a business doesn’t mean we stop growing. We have to continue to evolve and it doesn’t matter if you’re just starting or your business is doing a million a year, you still have to continue to grow.

[00:25:59] Audra: It was like the more successful I got cuz I’m on my fourth, fifth business. So I had coffee shops in California. I owned a title company and did real estate for about 10 years in Maryland. Then I got into marketing, and now I’m into this next place, the marketplace. So my fourth individual business. my agency though, has served so many different clients over so many different niches.

[00:26:23] Each, the more successful I got, the more I had to change because I had grown up to that level. And to get to the next level, I needed to evolve to be able to actually take on those responsibilities or that leadership or those goals. so that e [00:26:40] so learning doesn’t stop. Just when you start doing well, it actually taxes you more, or at least that’s what I found.

[00:26:46] and I, here’s something that I learned very late in Okay. in the game. Okay. That I’d love to impart to others, and that, that is, Get a mentor. Yeah, get a mentor, get somebody who is where you wanna be and is willing to mentor you. Yeah. And if you have to pay for it, this is the hardest part for me, is justifying paying money for something that I’ve got so many other things that I need to pay money for.

[00:27:17] we were talking before about, the streaming service software and the microphone and the camera and, all the things that we have to pay money for. This is an optional thing. Like, why can I not do this on my own? And you can, I have done it. you can absolutely do it on your own.

[00:27:35] Amy: It just takes you a lot longer and you get a lot more aggravation and frustration than to have somebody that’s a step or two ahead of you that can say, Watch that pothole. When you come up to that side, do this and get around it, or as you’re coming to this part in the deal, you’re gonna wanna do this.

[00:27:57] And think about how far you’ve come as an entrepreneur or as a person, as a parent, as a sibling, as a human. You have so many things that you’ve learned. If you could go back in time, just five years, 10 years to the person that you were, think about how much easier you would allow your life to be if you could impart [00:28:20] the wisdom that you have now to the person you were back then.

[00:28:23] Now, I believe that you had to go through those things. Oh, of course. Order to get the wisdom that you have. Yeah. But I also believe that there’s nothing wrong with utilizing somebody else’s wisdom to get you where you wanna be just a little bit quicker with a little less aggravation. Yeah. 

[00:28:40] and to put a bow on that they’re there.

[00:28:44] Audra: What I found is, cuz I’ve done some high end coaching, I’ve done some masterminds, I’ve done some groups type stuff over the years. Some of them have been helpful, some of them have not been. so it’s very important if you are gonna go that route that you find somebody that can help you where you are at.

[00:29:02] I think that’s some of the challenge I ran into, at least with one specific group. I was further along than everybody else in the. So I was giving, which I was great, I was a hundred percent fine for, but I didn’t get a lot of growth on my side because there weren’t, wasn’t really anybody more advanced than me to guide me.

[00:29:23] So that can be a challenge. The other thing is they’re gonna blueprint it for you and they’re gonna give you lots of direction. You still have to do the work, And a lot of people will be, at least folks that I’ve been, that I’ve talked to, I got into this coaching group and, they were asked to do things that challenge them or were a little harder than, what they were comfortable with.

[00:29:45] And they’re like, Yeah, it’s just not for me. And then they assume that the coaching program doesn’t work, which, If they would’ve followed the steps, they would’ve got different 

[00:29:53] results. 

[00:29:55] Amy: Absolutely. Again, yeah. One decision away. Yeah. and I [00:30:00] also would impress upon people, Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

[00:30:05] Yeah. Because it’s in our discomfort that we learn and grow. When we’re comfortable, we’re not growing. We’re coasting. And yes, I’m not saying, constantly be challenging yourself, but my mom used to say something that I thought was really interesting. She said that you learn something new every day and when you don’t, you die.

[00:30:23] And I, it really hit home with me because you might not die physically, but you do. Yeah. You don’t continue to grow and, just an acorn grows into a great oak, you need to nurture your journey and, and continue to grow. 

[00:30:42] Audra: I think, if I look back at all the different jobs or clients or businesses I’ve had, that’s been the biggest lesson.

[00:30:52] Just evolving and growing and each one you get a little bit better and you get there a little quicker and you get a little faster results. And then the next one, you still trip though, you still stumble, you still, something that should have took you 12 steps, takes you 82. it’s just, it’s part of the process.

[00:31:11] But I think the important thing to go back to what you said 10 minutes ago is being in the moment of actually being present of that. I was working on a page on my website yesterday, and I haven’t touched it in a couple years, but I’m trying to get the SEO up on all the pages. I looked at it and WordPress keeps, versions, tells you how many versions where you’ve edited the page.

[00:31:34] That one page I have edited 212 times [00:31:40] over the last probably till 2018. 2019. So four years. I’ve edited it that many times. Things changed, things this. But what I took away from that was, Oh wow, . That’s how many times it took me to get it to where it’s at now. Dang it. So short cutting. It would’ve been ideal.

[00:32:02] But I, I learned a lot of that kind of stuff on my own. So I seemed to take the longer route on some things, but it’s, it would’ve been slowing down, being present. What was the goal of that? What was I trying to get out of it and then working on it? And maybe it would’ve only been a hundred revisions in the last year.

[00:32:22] it grew 

[00:32:22] Amy: as you grew. Yeah. Like you were where you are now back then, so that wouldn’t have made sense anyway, True. That’s just another way of looking at 

[00:32:32] Audra: it. That’s a better way to look at it. Absolutely. All right, so let’s shift gears a little bit and talk about, So where’s the business going?

[00:32:40] So you’re doing teaching, you’re doing or speaking? You’re doing, Are you doing coaching? I. 

[00:32:49] Amy: Kind of, but not really. Okay. Is that an answer? I do coaching through my aha moments. Okay. I do coaching through, the group that I have on Facebook. but I don’t do one-on-one coaching. I just have not found that to be advantageous.

[00:33:04] and not something that I really, I did for years. And, just as I say that, they’re gonna be like, I know that you’ve co yes, I have on occasion coached somebody, but it’s not something that I do on the regular. I, am in the process now. [00:33:20] I am hosting a retreat. For 10, 10 women, that’ll take them, to discover and fall in love with who they are.

[00:33:27] Amy: Love the life they live and live a life they love. So I’m gearing more toward events and retreats, but keeping it small because I really want ’em to be impactful. . And then also doing the public speaking in order to, impact as many people as I can to help on a bigger scale. Yeah. help alleviate the stress.

[00:33:46] We only live one life and we’re not guaranteed tomorrow. So I wanna help make today the best day that they can possibly have. 

[00:33:53] nice. Now are you finding with Post, Pandemic that doing retreat or live speaking events is limited still? 

[00:34:02] There’s a mix. It depends, depends. I’ll say it depends because some organizations are doing hybrid Okay.

[00:34:08] Amy: Where they do some virtual and some, in person. and I did one like that back in March, I think. Okay. A lot of them have come back in person, which is so awesome. I think that as humans, we need that interpersonal connection. as a speaker, it’s so much better to have the person and the energy in the room.

[00:34:31] Yeah. but,I think that you’re finding a mix. Mix. Okay. And I’m thinking, and I’m finding that more people are excited. You still have the contingency of people who are still fearful. Yeah. but you also have the other extreme where get me out of the house. please. And then you have, people that are in between wanna self.

[00:34:50] have distance and do things, that make them feel comfortable. So I think that there’s a little bit of everything out there for everyone. 

[00:34:56] Audra: What do you, I may, I imagine you have your finger on the pulse [00:35:00] of where your industry’s going. What do you see happening? are you getting any feedback or any feelings about, are we gonna be back full time or is this still gonna stay?

[00:35:10] I’m stay, 

[00:35:11] Amy: I’m hearing that virtual is here to stay. Okay. I think that there’s still a contingency of people that would rather get the information in the comfort of their own home, in their own pajamas than to go and interact. And that,as this continues, I’m also seeing more. Products and things online that allow us to get that interaction in other ways.

[00:35:36] like in Zoom they have breakout rooms where people can be, in smaller groups where they can have that interaction, and stuff like that. So I’m seeing that there’s still gonna be a virtual contingency. Okay. but I also don’t think that in person will ever go away either. 

[00:35:53] no.

[00:35:53] Audra: I did my first, workshop, I wanna say in person like two weeks ago. And so it was a little bit of a hybrid. We were streaming it online, but I also had people in the room, and that’s the first one I’ve done since 2019, since right before the pandemic. I didn’t realize how different it felt because I haven’t done one in so long, and I was like, Oh my gosh, there’s real people here.

[00:36:19] This is so exciting because you do, you feel the energy and the conversation and the, even though in Zoom we can still see facial expressions or connect to people, it’s not the same. and I don’t need that, or I didn’t think I needed that kind of constant, but wow, what a difference. It’s [00:36:40] 

[00:36:40] Amy: what a dnce because again, we’re all energy and when you’re in the room, you can feel the vibration of the energy of the people.

[00:36:47] and so it is, magnetic when you’re actually in person. Yeah. 

[00:36:52] So where are you taking your business? What is the plan? So I know that you’re speaking and with things changing up, are you going to develop a new product? Are you just gonna stay on the path that you’re at? 

[00:37:03] what’s,I’m, know, what are you thinking?

[00:37:04] I’m in the being stage so that I can get the message from the universe on what’s next. The universe has told me that I really need to do these retreats for women. Good. So that’s where my energy has, turned to focus. I have, I have a book. I have two, one’s an ebook and one’s an actual book.

[00:37:20] Amy: Okay. And I’ve been toying with the idea of another book, but I’m not feeling it’s really the right time yet for that. Okay. and, what I. What I’m feeling coming up is that through these retreats that I will do, perhaps this isn’t a promise, but this is a, perhaps it will evolve into a course that people can do in the comfort of their own home, to take them from where they are to where they wanna be.

[00:37:52] Yeah. And, help them through that. By me testing it and getting the feedback in person first. Yeah. Yeah. So that I can incorporate the things that I’m finding so that it will be an all inclusive and all encompassing, course as opposed to just me speaking at them. And I, anybody who has anything to do with me knows that I do things a little bit differently and outside the box.

[00:38:17] Amy: Good. And I want to be able to tweak [00:38:20] it and make this. if I go that route sure, sure. Make it totally and completely different than what people have normally experienced, which is what I’m doing with the retreat. because it’s something that, it’s not just me talking, but they’re gonna have activities and experiences and excursions that all support the item that I’m going to be sharing with them.

[00:38:39] Nice. so that they can absorb it depending on what their learning style is, if it’s auditory or if it’s kinesthetic. it doesn’t really matter because they’ll be getting it in a variety of ways and they’ll have ways to actually implement it because, . The other thing that I’ve seen so often, retreats I’ve gone to is that when you get done, you have this wealth of steps and things that you can do, but now you’re overwhelmed and not know where to start.

[00:39:04] So day one, we start implementing things because then you can practice them over the days of the retreat and you can actually perfect them and get your questions answered and get them implemented into your life so that when you leave, you don’t have those questions. They just becoming a habit of doing it.

[00:39:21] That’s great. I think that’s the problem with all online education. They teach you something and then they say, Okay, good luck. Go do it. Yeah. if I knew how to do it, I wouldn’t have needed to take the course. So yes, you taught me something and now I’m completely overwhelmed, but I have no idea how to actually put into practice.

[00:39:39] Yeah. Yeah. I think, And online education is not gonna go away. It was already on track to get to the levels that it’s going to. But Covid really sped it up and forced people to learn online or learn from home. And so that’s not gonna go away. I just wrote a blog post on one of my blogs just about this, about the [00:40:00] digital experience of what’s happening with online education.

[00:40:03] Audra: And then numbers are ridiculous of what it’s gonna be. it’s really, it will really give colleges and, higher education a run for their money of what people will be able to do now. Yeah. Yeah. there’s a place I don’t want my doctor learning an online course, but,maybe the holistic side of it.

[00:40:21] But, I, there’s still some, benefits for sure for higher education. Yeah. yeah. Agreed. so business wise, so I know you’re working on, when are you going to, do you have a ETA on when you’re gonna launch your program or 

[00:40:35] Amy: No, because I’m not even sure I’m gonna launch it. I know that 

[00:40:38] Audra: I’m gonna do this.

[00:40:38] the course, the retreat. 

[00:40:40] Amy: Yeah, the retreat is this fall, It’s September 29th through October 2nd. Okay. and there are a few spots left as of the recording. Okay. and I’m happy to provide the link for Yes. Yeah. Women that would be interested in checking. It’s all inclusive. Okay.

[00:40:57] It includes lodging and food and transportation and excursions and experiences. It’s all inclusive. and, and yeah, and I know that when we talked before, you were asking me a question on what is my biggest challenge as an entrepreneur? And, and if that’s your next question,I 

[00:41:17] Audra: hope I didn’t Oh, please let it flow.

[00:41:19] Let it flow. And so 

[00:41:20] Amy: my, and I think I shared with you then that my biggest challenge is, the whole, what’s it called? Field of dreams. If you build it, they will come. That’s baloney. I’ve built lots of things so baloney. And nobody knows they’re there to come and take advantage of ’em. And My biggest challenge is getting that word out [00:41:40] and getting it out. in a manner that is cost efficient, cost effective, and the message is clear and targeted to the people that need to hear it. And you talked about marketing, and I’ve done lots of things. I’ve done Facebook ads, I’ve done the whole gamut.

[00:41:58] the funnels, I’ve done all that kind of stuff. Yeah. You still need to get people to them. And I’ve utilized social media. if I’m really being honest, I haven’t seen a whole lot of success come from that in that, I’m, I post a lot of stuff on both LinkedIn and Facebook, which then gets put onto Instagram.

[00:42:21] Amy: Instagram, and it, and I’m, and like you said, I’m. I’m happy to continue to give, I’m happy to continue to, uplift and inspire and empower. but at some point we’re in business. let’s be honest, right? And there’s nothing wrong with saying you wanna make a couple of dollars. We are 

[00:42:44] Audra: for-profit company, 

[00:42:45] Amy: right?

[00:42:45] Yeah. and doing so, has been challenging. has been seriously challenging and okay. Not wanting to get so hooked up into how many posts and what do I post. And I know that there are, engines or products that you can like, hoot Suite that you can put it on. But the issue becomes that the message and the is slightly different depending on the platform.

[00:43:11] Yeah. and so coming up with the content packaging in a way That’s going to be heard at on the different platforms [00:43:20] doing it, two or three different ways, two or three different times becomes all consuming into my day and then leaves me no time to, to be 

[00:43:28] Audra: creative and Right. Or to your business 

[00:43:32] Amy: or follow up and Right.

[00:43:34] And so the, and I’m also realizing that although here you go, business owners, a lot of times we’re told that, depending on what your business is, that you should be doing stuff on LinkedIn, business to business, especially on LinkedIn and. I don’t know if I’m not utilizing it in the way that actually makes it 

[00:43:57] Audra: successful, but it’s sucking right now.

[00:44:00] it, I’m, I’m putting stuff out there, but I, in total transparency don’t get my gigs and my opportunities and my speaking events from the things that I’ve posted, right? and so then I start thinking, is this a waste of time and right. Should my time be spent in other areas? Because that, it is a very big time sucker.

[00:44:23] Amy: And like I said, although I do wanna have a presence online and things and have that following, I, it also has to eventually come to something. 

[00:44:34] So the flip side of that, So let me give you a little feedback on that side of it. It can be tremendous time sync and it can be a huge. Frustration and disappointment and financial risk that you’re taking, but social media works the other way.

[00:44:55] Audra: So what I tell people, especially solo entrepreneurs or people that maybe [00:45:00] is just them and a VA or something like that, that they don’t actually have a team. What I do is I’ll sit down with a 30 day calendar, and each week I will just pick one topic to focus on. So maybe this week I’m gonna talk about email marketing.

[00:45:13] The next week I’m gonna talk about video. Next week I’m gonna talk about social media. Then I’ll sit down and I’ll put together some kind of training. Doesn’t have to be long. It could be 15 minutes worth of training. I’ll record that and then I’ll chop it into pieces. That’s by social media. Then alls I’m gonna do is add some images or add some text overlay, or chop it into shorts or whatever that you can do, and you can batch create.

[00:45:40] So it’s maybe four hours on a Saturday. You schedule it and then you’re done. See, I think we look at social media incorrectly. Social media is just another tool in your toolbox, just like speaking at an event, just like hosting a workshop. It’s just a channel and we’ve given it so much attention that we think we need to be there 24 7 and answering questions and engaging and doing it outbound and inbound marketing.

[00:46:07] And we shouldn’t. You need to, when you’re on those platforms, you’re there as a producer, not a consumer. You go in, you have a plan. You don’t need to be everywhere. I tell my students, Do one platform where your people are. That’s it. Yeah. Until you’re making a lot of money, stop trying to be everywhere.

[00:46:25] Why? it’s useless if your audience isn’t there. We’re doing this to generate revenue. If your people aren’t there, you’re wasting time. There’s no rules to this. We make them up to suit our business. So if your people are on Facebook, then [00:46:40] you put your content on Facebook and that’s it, right? Batch created.

[00:46:44] You only post once a day. If you’re building a community, it’s a little bit different cuz you, there is engagement that has to happen there. But social, you also need to think of social media works for you in the rear. You’re, like you said, you’re posting now, it’s not getting a lot of engagement, it’s not driving sales.

[00:47:02] But as you start to go out there to do your, retreats, That’s when your social media’s going to matter, because guess what? I have interest in you, but I wanna go see how you show up online, right? Then I’m gonna go look at all your social media. She posts consistently. Her messaging is the same as what I’m expecting.

[00:47:22] Her sales copy matches her website. All of those pieces. That’s when it’s gonna matter. Then, then the social media will benefit you because remember, we get to control that narrative of how we show up online. So you’re essentially planting seeds. It’s an oak tree and it’s gonna take 10 years to grow, but you are planting no seeds, and they will benefit you at that point where you start standing out there and saying, I’ve stuck a stake in the ground.

[00:47:54] This is what I’m doing. This is what I’m selling now. Come check out all my stuff because I’m ready to go. But until you’ve made that decision where I’m ready to go, like I’m actually selling this program, then it’s hard to tie any one thing to it. I could talk about social media all day long, but until Zindolabs was actually live, Where am I sending you?

[00:48:17] I got nothing. I got nowhere. I don’t have, I don’t, [00:48:20] That virtual building doesn’t exist, so there’s no point of it. there is point of it. so I didn’t go all in. I just posted enough. So as people start to find me, they can get a well rounded decision about it, right? Yeah. So what I try to tell people is take social media, chop it down where it’s only two hours a week for you. If you’re only posting on one platform, it’s not gonna take you that long. Create. If you don’t like video, write a blog post. If you don’t wanna, if you’re not a good writer, record yourself audio, and then chop the audio.

[00:48:58] Or just put the audio up as is. And then that’s your content. Pick whatever modality you’re most comfortable with, and that’s your content. There’s no point in trying to show up and say, I’m a video person when I hate video. And your customers aren’t gonna see you in video when they buy from you, So make sure that you’re, and I’m not saying this so much for you, I’m just saying in general, stay congruent with who you are and what works for you. Otherwise, why be in business? You’re not making the money, right? You’re not having the impact, and you’re incongruent with who you are as a human.

[00:49:30] Why go get a job then? Don’t bother . Yeah. Yeah. suffer. Don’t 

[00:49:34] Amy: suffer. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. And completely agree. Yeah. Luckily I do a lot of that and I just need to be reminded. My takeaway is, Amy, be patient. it takes a while, And it reminds me of, going back, we started with something personal.

[00:49:49] I guess I’ll end with something personal. I was wanting to have a particular, I wanted to be lean, just because people are fit, you know what society called skinny fat. [00:50:00] Yeah. It doesn’t mean that you’re lean. And tone. And I really wanted to get lean and tone. And I, truth be told, I wanted to take off a couple pounds.

[00:50:07] Amy: Okay. And I have a friend who posted on social and I got to see her, she went to the beach and all this. And I was like, Oh, I, yeah, great. Cause you have she got three kids. I wanna have like her and I would, I took her picture and I grew it up and I focused on her ab swear to God focused on her ab and I ended up going to a personal trainer, which is a whole nother story, but I said to her, How long to get this.

[00:50:35] right? And she goes, What’d she have to do to get that? And I was like, Yeah, okay. Okay. It took her two months to get that, but she worked out like two hours a day and she did this and that and the other. And she says, Are you willing to do that? And I was like, I’m willing to do half. So she said, Okay, then it will take you double as long.

[00:50:58] Four months. Okay. and so at the end of four months, I had seen some progress, but was I where I wanted to be? According to this picture? No. But had I given up, I never would’ve achieved. And so that story that I’m saying needs, I’m saying to you and your listeners and such as, as back to myself because I stuck it out.

[00:51:26] I’ve been with her almost 10 months and I have great, finally gotten that body that I’ve always wanted. Yay, good for you. But I didn’t stop. Yeah, I didn’t stop. I may have had a slip now and then, [00:51:40] or an event and I didn’t eat correctly on plan or I got injured and I haven’t been able to work out for two months cuz I hurt my back.

[00:51:47] But I still stuck to it. I still stuck to it. And now, Did it take me two months? No. Did it take me four months? No. Did it take me six months? Yeah. No. But if I had stopped at any of those points, I’m guaranteed to never get there. And so basically that’s what you’re saying to me in regards to business.

[00:52:08] you wanna be at a certain point where event planners are calling me and saying, Amy, we want you at our event. You’re amazing. I want, you’re so impactful and empowering. I want you to do this for us. And I’m not there 

[00:52:21] Audra: yet. But they won’t find you if that stuff’s not out there. 

[00:52:26] Amy: And so putting that stuff out there Yeah.

[00:52:29] Sets the groundwork. And it might not, it might take two months, four months, six months, a year, two years, whatever. But at the time that I stop, I’m guaranteed to never get there. And by continuing to push through, continuing to be consistent. Consistent. And persistent. Yep. Will allow me to eventually one day that I decide that I still want it.

[00:52:58] Remember one decision away from a totally different life, Deciding to continue. But then at some point I might decide, you know what? I’ve been there, done that. I wanna do something new and I can decide to do a different route. I can decide to go into retreats, I can decide to go into courses. I can take pivot and do something different.

[00:53:19] But [00:53:20] you’re just one decision away from a totally different life. And I believe that all of us deserve that life. And so making that key decision to continue and be consistent and persistent will eventually get us all there. 

[00:53:36] Audra: That’s awesome. I’m so glad we got to talk about this. I know it wasn’t just all business, but I believe that.

[00:53:43] It ties back to it, all of it does. We can teach strategy and tech, tactics and implementation, but no amount of that is going to be sustainable if we don’t get this other stuff in check and absolutely get it all balanced out and understand where we’re at and what we’re trying to do as humans. And I think the more that we know, yeah, the more that we know mindset Yeah, the easier all that stuff is gonna be, for sure.

[00:54:12] Absolutely. Yeah. thank you again. I wanna follow back up with you after you have your first retreat and see how it goes and what you take away from that. That would be exciting. Yeah, I would love that. Absolutely. Yeah. All right, best of luck and I look forward to chatting again.

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